Really? (a different one)

I was looking something up for a customer today and she reached out and TOUCHED MY FACE. I recoiled violently, and she said "oh sorry, but your star is so pretty!" I said, I don't like people touching me! And she seemed to get the hint.

I've said it before: tattoos are not invitations to touch strangers. Especially their face!

why?

So today at work I had to hang a sign on the front door. I sat on the inside, so the automatic doors opened towards me. The static cling sign was about 3 feet square, so it took several minutes to get it straight, smooth out all the bubbles, etc. Now, I would rather have waited until the morning (before the store opens), but the Store Manager - you know, the one who knows everything about my job even though he's never done it) wanted it done today.

During this time, people were coming in through this door. All of them would stop and look at me. Then some of them would walk 1 foot to the right and use the *gasp* manual door. But too many people continued through the automatic door, opening it ONTO me, inconveniencing me and forcing to stop my work (and move fast to avoid getting whacked in the face). I actually had to recruit one of my coworkers to stand guard so I could just take 5 uninterrupted minutes and finish.

Now, what went through their heads? Hmmm. there's a person on the other side of this door. Since I can see her clearly, I know she is in the middle of doing something. But she's in my way. I don't understand what to do! If only there were some simple solution....

more adventures in retail

I'm thinking about starting a new blog, just about my stories about customers. I could pull a lot from this blog, and as long as I have my current job I will always have fodder for new material. What do you think, would you be into that?

Anyway, here are today's stories:

-My last customer of the day br\ought a whole cartful of things, and each item had a coupon. But she didn't bother reading the coupons, so some of the items were the wrong sizes or flavors, or the coupon was only good when you brought 3 of them, or whatever. Some of the coupons weren't even for items that we sell in my store.
The chick that was taking over my register so I could go home had to keep running and grabbing items for this lady because the lady didn't want to do another transaction.

I made sure the managers knew about that one, and I wrote my coworker a "great team" card, which gets posted on the bulletin board for all to see.

-Someone was buying 2 binders today, so I put them inside each other so they would fit in the bag better. She said" Did they teach you to do that? You're so smart!"
But her tone wasn't genuine - it was the same tone you would use with a child or a retarded person. Since I'm obviously not a child, I think she honestly thought I have a mental disability. I got that vibe a lot today. Not sure if people are just quick to judge based on my "profession" or if I was really being stupid. I didn't feel stupid.
Just because I play cashier sometimes at work doesn't mean that I'm retarded or that I didn't go to college. First off, cashiering is not my job. I just help them out sometimes. Secondly, I'm lucky to have any job at all in this shit economy. I can't pick and choose based on what other people will think of me!

-Also I had someone buy a bunch of stuff, pay with foodstamps, then with $4.82 remaining on a gift card (that she wasn't even sure she wanted to use), and then she realized she didn't have enough money to cover the rest. I can't suspend a transaction once a payment has been made, so I had to void the whole thing while she ran out to her car. So she left a shopping cart full of bagged, unpaid merchandise, [b]along with her purse[/b]. I kept it there for a few minutes, but all my other customers were commenting "why would she leave her purse?"
After about 5 minutes I had the manager take the whole thing over to the guest services desk. The lady still didn't come back for like 20 minutes. I son't know where the hell she went.

/eyeroll

suffering

I'm half-heartedly looking for a new job. I really like all my coworkers, but there are sooo many things that make me grumpy.

Mostly it's the store manager. He has told me repeatedly that he never would have hired me "looking like that." Lucky for me, it wasn't up to him because he wasn't there. But still, even though I receive nothing but praise from everyone else in the store for being the hardest and best worker they have ever seen, he still judges me on my hair and tattoos.
I am the only person capable of doing my job - the store manager really has no idea what it entails. Yet, he continually criticizes me and then tries to give me "advice" on how to improve. "Why aren't you straightening the area while you're over here?" Because I don't have nearly enough time to worry about what the product on the shelves looks like. I don't even have enough time to get all the displays set up because about once a week I'm taken from my actual job to do something else, like cashier. You know, the important stuff that utilizes every bit of my potential.

Today he was complaining that a sign I was hanging on the wall (via adhesive) was crooked. It didn't look crooked to me, but I explained that I couldn't reach it to make it perfect, as it was over the sunglasses cases, which was about 4 feet from the closest point the 8-foot ladder could get. We had this conversation:
"You can step on these, you know."
"Dave, those are cardboard."
"Then step on this."
"That's a light. That would end badly." (specifically, it was the casing for a flourescent light that hangs over the sunglass displays to showcase them better.)
"Well you don't have to put any weight on it. Just put your front foot on it so you can reach the wall."
"No. Putting my foot on something in front of me and then being sure to not put any weight on that foot while I'm reaching in front of me will not help me do anything except fall onto the displays from 8 feet high and go to the hospital."
"But the sign is crooked."
Then another coworker who was in the area said "Why don't you do it for her? You could probably reach better than her, so it would look like you want it to."
I said "yeah, there are only 15 of them today, and the store opens in under 2 hours. Knock yourself out. Literally."
After that he left me alone for the time being, but this is the kind of conversation that I have with him every time I see him. You can imagine how irritating this would be when I've been at work since 4am, and he comes waltzing in and pokes around in everyone's business, trying to look useful since he doesn't actually know anything about what we are doing.

I don't get paid enough to put up with that, or for the new shade of "bruise" my legs have become. I've started using Arnica lotion to help heal them, but that stuff stinks to high heaven. Plus there's no point if I just get new bruises every day, even when I am super careful.

The downside is that there are no jobs in this town. I take that back - there are a very few. However, they are all either retail jobs equivalent to what I already have, or things I am in no way qualified for, like "doctor" or "machinist." I don't have the resources needed to learn a new trade, and I already know plenty. So I'll suffer through this job for a bit longer, knowing that I will get glowing recommendations from everyone I work with (except the store manager, whose opinion I won't ask) for suffering through.

weekend ups and downs

Since I moved to Asheville a year ago, I've been sicker more than I have in like 10 years. I've had to leave work early twice, once to food poisoning and once to general dizziness / nausea. And that's not counting all the times I've been sick NOT at work.

This weekend was about the worst it's been. I was off work and we headed out to Bele Chere, which is the biggest street faire in the southeast. You can drink beer in the streets while perusing lots of local wares and food. There are lots of concerts, and they are all free. It's generally a good time.

I was having a good time, but with a few irritants. One, I was going to buy a pretty rainbow tie-dyed dress, but the one I wanted was on a mannequin. I went to the shop guy with the cash in my hand and brought him over so he could get it for me. He went about taking it off the mannequin, and then handed it to someone else, who then proceeded to stretch it as far as she could and put it on over her clothes. Now I can't blame her for that second part, I was planning to do the same thing. But the fact that she stretched it way further than she needed to (and she was already a bigger girl than me) turned me off of that dress. I'm not going to pay good money for something that would have fit me. And the shop guy totally ignored me, even though *I* was the one who made him get off his lazy ass so I could buy something. So he didn't get any of my money that day.

The other irritants were minor - things like normal businesses raising their prices for the festival (which didn't faze me because I had a buy-one-get-one free coupon anyway, so that was actually the best time for me to use it). Luckily I had enough good friends (and good beer) with me that the day wasn't ruined.

Last year we had gone to the festival, and there was a chick selling handmade chokers / bracelets / anklets out of some natural hemp-like material coated in wax (which makes it so you can wear the piece for the rest of your life, showering, swimming, etc.). I really really wanted one, but we had literally just moved here so we had zero dollars. She didn't have a website or anything and was from Florida, so I couldn't buy one later. But the same girl was there again this year, and so I got myself an anklet with the money that would have gone to the dress jerks.

Then after a full day, we headed home. I got a pretty bad headache, so I went straight to bed. A few hours later, I woke up wth an upset tummy. Little did I know that I would not be going back to sleep that night. Instead, I would spend the entire night vomiting. I'm not sure what caused it, as I only ate one thing that my friends didn't eat, and there wasn't any food left in my system by the time it started coming back up anyway. I did have a lot of beer while walking around on a hot day, but I kept properly hydrated and protected from the sun, even seeking out AC a few times. But whatever the reason, I sure paid for it. It was the awesome kind of sick that when I thought I was done, I'd go lay down and try to sleep, only to have to get back up a few minutes later.

Luckily I was off the next day, or I would have had to call in. I felt better, but not great, but I was done puking. However, since I had no sleep, I was utterly exhausted and spent the next day recouping from what could have only been a poisoning.

there's nothing urgent about urgent care

Yesterday I had to take my boyfriend to Urgent Care. He hadn't been feeling well for a while, and all signs pointed to an ear infection. It finally got so bad that he agreed to go to the doctor.

Since I've dealt with the inevitable waiting room before, I brought my DS to play, while he just sat next to me trying not to throw up (and failing). But I also had the good fortune to sit next to The Most Obnoxious Woman In North Carolina. She spent the entire 3 hours that we were in Waiting Room A yakking loudly on her cell phone. She used her time to call literally everyone she knew to tell them that she was in EC. So I got to hear her story about 80 billion times.

She ran outside "real quick" to grab something, and didn't bother putting shoes on. Then when she ran up the back steps, she got a big splinter! A splinter the size of a matchstick, she repeatedly claimed. And yes, she tried getting it out by using pliers and even an exacto knife. This is where she would laugh and go "I know! I'm so lame!"

Yes. Yes she was.

I didn't pity her at all, though I did feel sorry for her 16-17 year old daughter, who had been forced to drive her mother to EC. In fact, she would rather wait in the car in the heat for god knows how long, then sit and hear her mom complain about it more. This gave the mom ample chance to talk about her. At one point Splinter Lady was on the phone with her own mom complaining that said daughter wanted to "run away" to college in Florida. But the out of state tuition costs are ridiculous! So she was going to "gently convince" her that she should stay at home, get an Associate's Degree from the local community college, and then transfer to NCUA. I understand the mom's logic, what with expenses and all, but I also feel for the daughter wanting to get far far away from this train wreck.

I was so glad when they finally called Jason's name. Not just because it meant we were "almost" done, but because I didn't have to listen to this woman talking about her giant splinter anymore. You know, the piece of wood the size of a matchstick stuck in her foot. That she tried and tried to get out herself, but failed. So she had to come to EC. And call all her friends. And annoy des for 3 hours.

irresponsibility

There are 4 people on my team at work. One moved away, and my boss decided not to replace him so that the remaining 3 of us could have more hours. That's awesome, we need the hours and we can still do our job without one more guy. Then I got the new position (which starts next week), and obviously they need to replace me, because they can't do the job with just 2 people, and I probably do more than my share of work anyway.

But now it looks like they might have to replace yet another team member. He was scheduled for Friday, Saturday, Sunday off. Lucky bastard gets a 3 day weekend. But he called out on Thursday. We had our suspicions about that, as it's probably nice to have a four day weekend PLUS this guy is a big soccer fan and there were 4 games on that day. Convenient, we all thought. Then the HR guy at our store saw him at a local baseball game that night. You know, because he was sick.

So Monday rolls around, and 7am comes, and only two of us are there. Mister Four Day weekend calls and says he's going to be 15 minutes late. (Please note, by 7am we are already supposed to be starting work.) Those 15 minutes roll by, and he's a no show. And in fact, we never heard from him for the rest of the day. Management actually marked him as a no-call,no-show since saying you're going to be 15 minutes late is way different than calling out completely. He must have had a nice 5 day weekend. I mean, I'll feel bad if something actually happened to him during those 15 minutes, but given his record I feel that maybe his job was getting in the way of his World Cup viewing.

However, we got revenge on him today (in theory). It's my scheduled day off, and the other guy is taking his belated Father's Day today (with permission, since Tuesdays are pretty slow). That means IF this other guy finally decides to come back to work, he'll be all by himself. He'll know how it feels to not come even close t finishing the day's task (yet still have the big boss man expecting it). But like I said, that's IF he shows up.

people watching

Because I have nothing of interest going on in my own life, I need to write about the people I see.

1. Today at work, I was helping a customer. While I was talking to her, another customer walked stumbled in between us. With half closed eyes and an unsteady gait, she said "where would I find dresses? Like a dress that you would get married in. But not for like a big wedding, for a little courthouse mumblemumblemumble..." which is when I interrupted her to tell her that all the clothes in the store were over there. No, there aren't any semi-formal dresses anywhere else in the store.

Now, I'm not one to judge someone for buying a new dress for her courthouse wedding. Shoot, I'll probably end up like that myself. But I will at least be sober for it.

2. Tuesday was Denny's free breakfast day. Tuesday was also both my and Jay's day off, so you know we were all about free breakfast less than a mile from our house. There were signs posted all over the restaurant that you don't get a choice in your free breakfast - everyone gets 2 pancakes, 2 sausage links, 2 bacons, and 2 scrambled eggs. Anything else you order WILL NOT BE FREE. This includes coffee or other drinks, or eggs prepared any other way. Works fine for me, I wanted scrambled eggs anyway (and Jay got my meats of course). We also both had a side order of hash browns and coffee, which we understood would cost us money.

The tables next to us were both annoying. One was a family-type unit of 6, and the children were the most well behaved ones. The other table was having a pre-meeting meeting to work out their strategy on what they were going to say to the potential client. (Gems like "40 per cent of Americans choose restaurants by flipping open the yellow pages and picking at random." *)

But we ate our mostly-free breakfast without incident, and built a bit of a repoir with the waiter. I felt sorry for him and all the other staff because even though they were incredibly busy, it was teeming with people there for a free breakfast. Not to generalize too much - remember, I too was there for a free breakfast - but these people wanted EVERYTHING to be free, including the tip. Remember how I mentioned all those signs posted? The family next to us still didn't get it. And when it was explained to them, they ordered water. But I guess all the explaining didn't help, because while I finished eating Jay went up to pay. The family was in line to pay as well, but apparently they were cheap AND impatient, because they left the line and exited the restaurant. Without paying. For what little money they owed. (And yes, I saw them eat non-free food, so I know they owed money.)

I was chatting with the waiter when Jay came back. He told the waiter what happened, and the waiter said "That's ok. I got their dirty old hat that they left behind!" We all had a good laugh. And yes, we left him a very nice tip. :)



* We actually kinda know the guy they were going to meet, but not well enough to warn him of what lay in store for him.

Maybe it's because I have a headache

Today was definitely one of those days. I had a few doozies.

Like this conversation:
-Excuse me, where is the perfume?
-Just around this corner. (about 10 feet away - easily visible if anyone had bothered to look.)
*a few minutes later, same guy*
-Excuse me, is there someone that can help me?
-Sure what do you need?
-I'm looking for Halle Berry's perfume, Orchid. There's this display of it here, and it has Halle Berry's picture, and pictures of orchids, and a picture of the perfume, but I can't find the perfume.
-Isn't this it? The thing in the picture that is ON the cardboard display that you were just pointing at? That is literally right under your nose?
-Oh, is that it? I didn't know what I was looking for.
-Well see, you'd have to actually look for that statement to be true. (Ok, I didn't say that part.)
-Great, well where do I take this to be gift wrapped?
-We don't do anything like that here, sorry. (But not really sorry.)
-Well will you gift wrap it for me?
-Sorry sir, I have neither the time nor the resources to do that. (I briefly considered saying yes and then charging him a bunch, but that wouldn't solve the "resources" problem.)
-Oh... well where ARE gift wrapping materials?
- Just at the end of this aisle here. (Another thing you would have seen if you did that whole "looking" thing.)

Or this conversation:
-Excuse me, in the paper you advertised Glad Flex trash bags for $9.99. Where would those be?
*I tell her where to go, and it's pretty much on the exact opposite side of the store, as for some reason she asked me this while in the electronics department*
-I looked down this way, but they weren't there.
-No, they wouldn't be that way. They are over there.
-But I looked down this way, and I didn't see them. So does that mean you don't have them? Even though they were in the paper?
-No, that means you weren't looking in the right place. I'm trying to tell you where they are.
-The Glad Flex bags? That's the kind I mean though.
-YES I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR. PLEASE LISTEN TO THE WORDS I AM SAYING. THEY ARE OVER THERE.
-But I looked this way... well, thank you anyway.
*and she proceeds to walk back the way she already looked - which in case you didn't get it was not the way I was telling her to go*

I also got to find used gum stuck to a sign. WTF would make someone deliberately put gum on a store sign? In addition to the usual crap I have to put up with at work, like finding two 2-liter soda bottles laying on their side in a completely different area of the store then they came from. I mean, I can understand not putting them back where they go, but did you just throw them or what?

Then on my way home, I was yelling at other cars because nobody knows how to drive in this town. Things like driving 40mph on the freeway (which is still set at 55) and changing lanes without looking or using your blinker are pretty standard. It's when they do this all at once that things start to get hairy. Luckily for me and my car, it's also pretty standard to not be in a lane unless other people are there already, so I was able to swerve. Anyway, lots of stuff happened that involved several jackasses pulling this crap all at once and me narrowly avoiding 2 accidents within 30 seconds of each other.

Now I'm home, safe and alone, and watching Futurama and eating mac n cheese. I'd like to think that I was easily irritated because I forgot to take my allergy medicine and had a headache, but we all know that things wouldn't have turned out any differently.

whoa there, alarm clock

Today I saw something at work that was so offensive, I can't even believe it. It's a product we sell, a talking alarm clock.
Every time you press snooze, it talks in a different voice. Make that a different accent. Every stereotype you can think of, saying stereotypical things. And it's not marketed as a joke like you would find in some stores.

-A Mexican saying something about pistolas.
-An Italian threatening to shoot you if you press snooze again.
-An Indian saying "please to be waking up now, thank you!" almost Apu-style.

That's where I walked away. My coworker stuck around to hear more, and apparently there is a lisping man saying "time to wake up, sweetie!" Your day would be faaaabulous after that, no?

I'm not going to bother to link to it, or even buy it to show people. (I don't want to reward the people making and selling this by giving them money.) I'm just amazed such a product exists, and that we sell it. Only in the South.

Black Friday

A quick note to all you crazies that camp out in front of stores to be first inside at 5am:

Stop it.

The more people that do that, the more stores think it's a good idea to have all their employees have to work the day after Thanksgiving. As one of those employees, I hate you. Just because you don't have to work doesn't mean that nobody does.

Why?

Why does this have to be the biggest shopping day of the year? Why can't some of us rest, and the rest of us do our jobs like normal? Why do people that are normally sane, intelligent, polite, and logical suddenly freak out on this one day?

Like if you saw a very full cart stacked with unboxed DVDs, and an employee said "don't touch that - I'll get it," would you proceed to try and move it out of your way anyway, thereby succeeding in knocking hundreds of DVDs onto the floor?
Because someone did that to me today. And conveniently enough, she "had a bad back" so couldn't help me pick them up. I didn't want her help anyway. I wanted her not to touch the cart.

Or if someone asks for a partcular DVD, and the employee replies that the store sold out of that movie by 6am today, would you stand there watching her while she continued (trying) to put out the rest of the stack she had in her hand? Then have this conversation:
-Is there something else that I can help you with?
-I'm just waiting for you to put out one of those Tinkerbell movies.
-We're still sold out. There are zero in the store.
-Oh, I know you'll find one in that stack, and when you put it on the shelf, I'll be here.
-Seriously, there are ZERO in the store. We sold out by 6am. There are none in my hand. There are none on my cart. You should have gotten here earlier if you wanted it so badly.

And while normally I don't speak to customers that way, I did today. If they're crazy enough to camp out overnight for a stupid sale, then they can handle a bit of logic. Or sass. Whatever.

irritating customers

Christmas and the whole holiday season stress me out. Not because I won't get all the presents I want, or be able to buy everything I want for everyone else, or because I don't see my family. No, I'm stressed out because I work in retail. As the store gets busier, people seem to get more inconsiderate. Some examples:

When I'm pushing an obviously heavy cart full of merchandise, 4 out of 5 people don't get out of my way. Only when I manage to somehow manuever around them and I say "excuse me" then 1 out of those 4 people will move over an inch and grunt something that I can only assume is supposed to be "Oh, excuse me! I'm so sorry to get in your way!" The rest of the people either completely ignore me, or give me a dirty look for disturbing their shopping. I actually had someone the other day give me a dirty look, then got in my way not once, but twice. (She went around the aisle s she could do it again.) Then had the gall to ask me for help. Maybe I wasn't as nice to her as I am to other customers. Oopsie.

People treat the store like it's their house. I realize that it is part of my job to follow people around and clean up after them, but why do they leave their empty coffee cups on the shelves? We do provide trash cans like every 20 feet or so. Or if they drop some merchandise or somehow else make a mess (hey, that stuff happens) why do they not tell a worker?

-Example: The other day I spent a good half an hour cleaning up a bottle of baby oil. I thnk someone opened it to smell it or something, and then it slipped out of their hands because it was baby oil. I ust happened to walk by and see a mess on the floor. Have you ever tried cleaning up a liter or so of oil with paper towels on tile flooring? Not as easy as it sounds.

Related, I can understand taking stuff of the shelves to look at it, like shoes or rug. But why would you leave them on the floor afterwards?

-Example 1: I was working in a certain rug aisle with my cart, putting stuff away. I left for a minute to help a customer, and came back to find two large rugs splayed out on the floor. Seriously, I was gone like 30 seconds and when I left, nobody else was on the aisle.

-Example 2: I was tidying up the shoe section. This woman (well, late teens - early 20s) was taking out shoes and leaving them on the floor. My passive agressive "cleaning up the same aisle she was on, right in front of her" wasn't working, so I said "Oh, are you still looking at all of these?" Her boyfriend was embarrassed, but she was like "oh no, I'm done." I gave her a minute to clean up after herself and went to another aisle. When I came back, the part of the aisle that I had just cleaned right in front of her, was a mess again. Apparently she ddn't find what she was looking for the first time, so she had to go through them all again. Honestly, that's when I gave up and went home a few minutes early.

Ok, that's enough bitching for now. I was more riled up earlier, but videogames fixed that. :D

in case we forgot that people can be dumb and inconsiderate

So while I'm at work, I inevitably have to deal with customers. We have to ask everyone we see "Can I help you find something?" Most people say "no thanks, I'm just looking" and that's fine. Some people jump and yell NO! like I caught them doing something wrong. Whatever, I smile at them and we never see each other again. But here are some examples of how that didn't work.

me: Hi, can I help you find something?
lady: No thank you, but I wish they would organize the store while it was closed. This way is incredibly rude.

Keep in mind, there are people that arrive in the store at 4am to unload the truck and get the merchandise on the floor. Then there are people there ALL DAY that are continually pushing merchandise out so the customer can buy what he or she wants. And, as one of these people, I know it is a priority to make the customer happy first. This means that even if we are pushing a heavy unmanuveable cart full of stuff, it is our job to get out of the customer's way. So I'm sorry lady if you think we're rude. Also: maybe you shouldn't be waiting at the door when we open if you don't want to be "inconvenienced."

Of course I didn't say any of that to her. I just frowned at her and walked away.

Then I was moving a rando ironing board off the floor and bringing it back to its home. While I was holding and flipping / turning a 6-ft tall ironing board so it could stand on its feet, a lady decides to walk up my aisle with her 2 year old son. I almost beaned the son because I was flipping around a 6 foot tall ironing board. No "excuse me" no "oh my gosh I'm so sorry!" Nothing. She wasn't even buying anything on this aisle, she was just passing through. Now maybe it's just me, but when I see a tiny person manuevering a giant object, I try to stay out of their way. Apparently that's just crazy around here.

Speaking of children, then I saw a small child, probably 4-5 years old, wandering around by himself. Of course he was in the toy section, but I didn't see anyone that looked like they were his parent. So I asked the little boy:

me: Hey buddy, who are you here with?
boy: my dad
me: and where's your dad right now?
boy: I dunno. But he knows where I am so its ok.
me: Are you sure he knows where you are, because I don't see him anywhere.
boy: yeah, its ok.

So I hung out with the boy for a bt while my friend went to go find the dad. About 5 (five!) minutes later, this guy walks up on his cell phone.

me: Sir, is this your son?
guy: Yeah ("hold on" sign, he;s on the phone!)

I see that it would be of no use to lecture the guy because he is obviously too busy to, oh I don't know, look after his son, so we just walk away. But what if something had happened? Guess who that guy would have blamed? The store. Because I'm sure it would be our fault if we were on the phone not paying attention to his sone and he got snatched or something.

So whatever. It irks me, but there's nothing I can do. So I continue putting out my merchandise. This old guy with 2 teeth (yeah I counted) asks me for help. I show him what he's looking for, then he grabs my arm. I resist the urge t punch him in the face, and say

You're not actually allowed to touch me.
guy: Oh, I just wanted to get a good look at your tattoo.
me: that's fine, you can look, but you are ABSOLUTELY not allowed to touch me. Ever.

he continued making excuses, but I seriously almost decked him. I mean seriously, who touches strangers?

So, the last few days I've had a few trying customers. But you know what? I've worked in retail all my life, so I expect people to be asshats. I'm definitely not complaining about my job. I think that maybe since its time for my day off I might just be a wee bit cranky. ;)

so many annoyances, so little time

This morning I woke up for a job interview. I showered and made myself all pretty and professional looking. I got in the car for a drive that was to last less than 10 minutes. I noticed that people were driving more retarded than usual, but it wasn't a big deal until an old man in a Buick decided that there probably wasn't in the lane that he wanted to be in. Me: BRAKE! HONK! Flip the old man the bird, which went unnoticed of course.

Ok, near accident, brush it off. I get to the interview at a children's store, and the person isn't ready for me yet. I wander around for a few minutes, and then we go next door to the bakery to sit down. Now, "interview" isn't really the applicable word here. It was just this person talking to me, and me trying to interject here and there. About 10 minutes later, we were done. Gee good think I put effort into that. I don't think it went badly, but it was definitely the shortest interview I've ever had.

On the way home, I was planning on stopping at the bank to open an account. I have a check for a bracelet I'm making, and some cash from a photo shoot I did yesterday (more on that later), so I figured I needed to use that to start a new account. I'd done my research - not only did I know which bank I wanted, but I knew which account I wanted and what I needed for it. I thought. The lady talked to me like I was a retarded 5 year old. (Hmmmm, sounds familiar....)

-Hi, I need to open a new checking account.
-Ok, do you know what kind of account you want?
-Yes, "the best" checking.
-Yes, that's our most popular.
(At this point, she folds her hands on the desk, like she's very concerned.)
-Do you know the requirements to open an account?
-Yes I do.
-Well let me just get you a brochure. (circles the account info) Here are the requirements.
-Yes, I looked at it on the website.
-Where did you move from?
-Michigan, about a month ago.
(folds her hands again)
-Do you have an updated driver's license? Or something that shows your current address?
-Oh, no. The website didn't say anythng about that, and I've never needed it before.
(continues to be concerned because a retarded 5 year old is trying to be a grownup)
-Yeah, they really need to put that on there.
-Well let me see if I do have anything. (I pull out some mail that I have in my backpack and flip through it.) No, these are all my boyfriend's.
-Well will he be on the account with you?

I say no he won't and that I'll have to come back. She gives me her best concerned nod. But even if he was going to be on the account with me, wouldn't he have to be there? I mean we have different names, and one of the requirements (that I did meet) was 2 forms of ID. I am clearly not a Jason, and my check is not made out to Jason either. But obvioiusly I'm just a scared little girl, and I don't know how to take that big step of handling my own finances. She didn't even ask if I had a job or anything. Yay for condescending bank tellers!

On the way home, I watched the car behind me suddenly decide it needed to be in the far right lane. We were in the far left lane on a 3 lane street. Somehow a tiny car managed to block 3 lanes of traffic. His buddy decided to follow him. The truck in the middle lane decided to go around the first car, between that and the second car. I was waiting for the inevitable smashing sound, but it never came. Either way, I was glad I was in front of this mess instead of behind it.

And I arrived home, less than an hour after I left, and about 10 times as annoyed.

Best customers ever

Let me set the scene:
Normal day for des at work. A young couple - like younger than me - walk in the door. He is wearing a dirty baseball cap over messy brown hair. He's got a few days' worth of stubble, and his clothes are baggy and, to be honest, kinda gross. She is the complete opposite; bleached blond straightened hair, fake tan, designer sunglasses and purse.

"We just need to get a quick loan to pay 2 bills."

Now whenever someone approaches me in this way, it is guaranteed that they do not have the required paperwork. So I say "Ok, I just need your driver's license, social security card, most recent pay stub, most recent bank statement, and checkbook." They didn't have the bank statement. So they went to fetch one. I should note that at this point they were a little agitated.

I go about my day, la dee da, and these kids come back. Silly me, I was expecting them to have everything they needed, since I had already told them what they needed and pointed to the sign that says the same thing. This time he didn't have his socal security card. Which was on the list that I already gave them both orally and written. Yet they acted surprised that I needed it like I had changed the sign. They tried to convince me that they didn't need it and I could accept a substitute. Since neither of those are possible, they got a little more pissed and left again to go find it.

More time passes, and they come back yet again. Since they are not the nicest people in the world, I am less than thrilled about having to stop my internet time to go talk to them. Something tells me it won't be different this time. I'm right - he still doesn't have his social security card. Apparently they "went to the Social Security office and it was closed." That's odd, since it's 3:30pm on a Wednesday. But whatever, still no SS card. But he did bring another paystub in! Yay, because that's the same thing, right? When I told them that bringing me a copy of something I already had didn't help, they argued that it should be fine since it "had his full name and everything" on it. It did have his full name - and address even! - yet I still don't have proof of his SS#. I broke the news to them that I would lose my job if I gave them a loan without the SS card, and for once I was actually glad of the bulletproof glass between us because he looked like he really really wanted to punch me in the face. I got the feeling that they thought I was just being a dick to them for the sake of being a dick, but really it was because they were being dicks to me and were completely unprepared.

They storm out again, and I am sure I'm done with them. Cut to around 6pm, almost closing time, and they come back. This time we're going to do the loan under the bitchy girlfriend's name. Fine. So I repeat my speech about needing her driver's license, SS card, most recent pay stub, most recent bank statement, and checkbook. The same stuff I have been telling them all day, and has been on the sign since before I started even working there. She gives me everything, and I notice that her bank statement is from December. Since it is now May, this can't be her most recent one. I tell her this and she throws a fit because she is a bitch and she "does everything online" so doesn't have anything more recent. (I don't bother telling her how easy it is to print statements from the website.) I say "alright, I know you guys have been trying all day to get a loan, so I'll take this old statement this time. Before you borrow again, you need to bring me a more recent one."

We're almost all set. I even have the application in hand for her to fill out. I ask to see her checkbook, which is the only item she hasn't handed me. "I don't have a checkbook - I use my debit card." Goddammit people. I never said debit card, I have always said checkbook. They are NOT the same thing! You need to write me a check as collateral. I can do absolutely nothing with a debit card, no matter how much you argue with me. Well, this set them off. She grabs her designer bag off the counter and storms out the door. He punches himself in the leg (again, glad for the bulletproof glass), mutters something, and storms out. Now I'm pretty sure I'll never see them again, and I say good riddance to bad rubbish.

This time, however, there was another customer in the store during their little outburst. A regular customer of mine that I can laugh & joke with. He asks if they take debit cards for Anger Management classes, and we have a good laugh. Then he knocks on the glass to make sure it is shatterproof because he doesn't "want that guy coming back for me" and we laugh again. We complete our transaction smooth as pie because what? He's prepared. I thank him for not being a dick, and we laugh again. Then he shakes his head and says "these damn kids today" and leaves so I can close the store.

So there's my grand story of the day. Sure, from a business prospective, it sucked. But I would rather lose the potential business then have to be abused by those horrible people. Made for a good story though, right?

some things I saw today

I saw a bumper sticker that said "Annoy a liberal: Work. Succeed. Be happy." Because, you know
a) liberals don't work (except in the liberal media, obviously - but that might just be for fun)
b) they certainly can't or don't succeed in anything at all, and
c) they are never ever happy

I tried to get a picture of it with my phone, but the light turned green. Then we weren't behind them anymore because they wanted to be in the other lane.

After that we went to Petco to buy cat food. They had kitty adoptions there, and of course we stopped to check them out and wish we had $125 to cover the adoption fee. We wandered around a bit and looked at ferrets and fish and birds until we ended up back by the kitties. I was distracted by small rodents when Jay tapped my shoulder to look behind me. There stood a 10 or 12 year old boy, hugging a giant cat very tightly and bawling his eyes out. It was way too obvious that Mom was making him give up his beloved pet. We had to turn away before we started crying too.

Why would a parent do that? The kid was obviously attached to the cat. The cat was well fed and appeared to be in good health, so it couldn't be a matter of neglect. The best I can guess is that it was either a punishment, or the family was moving. Of course these aren't acceptable answers. You never ever punish a child by making him give up his pet for adoption. And if you're moving, the pet comes with - that's it. Maybe the cat did have health problems, but still I think the kid's emotional attachment outweighs the extra work required. I don't even have kids, but I couldn't imagine being the mother standing there watching her son be so upset. Also, as a pet lover, I couldn't imagine ever having to give up a dear friend.

There was temptation to have some words with that mother, and we wished even more that we could adopt that cat and have the kid over for visits, but we had to leave instead.

All in all, a disappointing day.

grumble grumble bank

So here's a more upbeat post. Kinda - I mean I *am* still going to complain about something.

I was hoping I could kill two birds with one stone - alleviate the vast pile of twenties that I have in the store and get more quarters and dollar bills, in which I am lacking. I have to leave the store unattended with a note that says "back in 20 minutes" and since I am carless, my only option is to run across the street to the bank with $40. I've done this many times before. Today, however, the teller refused me service because I am not an account holder.

Isn't the whole point of a bank to hold money? Why do I have to have an account there to make an even trade? There is no paperwork involved, you don't even need to turn on the computer. The money totals will be the same (for both of us) at the end of the day.

And guess what? Your being rude to me made me not want to become a customer of yours.
Now someone at my store is going to get lots of dimes or something. Thanks for that.

customer of the day

Most of my customers understand the rule of "don't bite the hand that feeds you." Thus, they are at least civil to me when asking me to give them a loan. But today I met someone who did not follow this line of thinking.

First off, let me just say that my monthly salary is less than one third of her weekly salary. Seriously, if you need payday advances and can't manage that much money, you don't deserve it. Give me your salary right now so I can buy groceries and pay rent, not piddle it away on whatever the heck you're doing.

Secondly, you don't get to decide when to pay me back. When I ask when you get paid next, you don't say "I want to pay it back April 3." Because then I get to say "yeah but when do you get paid next?"
*exasperated sigh*
Every two weeks.
Ok, did you get paid this week?
Yes! I just got paid today!
Ok, so it will be due back March 20.
What about these "30 day loans" you advertise?
If you get paid once a month, you have a month to pay it back. If you get paid weekly, you have 3 weeks to pay us. If you get paid every 2 weeks, like you do, you have 2 weeks.
But what does it matter? It's still the same price!
It's state guidelines, I actually had nothing to do with that.
This is BULLSHIT!

Then, just for effect, throw the pen back into the cup and storm out. Also, because I can't tell that you are indignant, try to slam the hydraulic door. It's ok if you break it, you can afford to fix it. But not with a loan from us.


**UPDATE**
She came back in and apologized an hour later. So at least she gets points for that.

how's your tax return coming, des?

So glad you asked.

Remember my old job, the one that laid me off by avoiding my calls and not actually telling me? Where at least a third of my paychecks bounced? Well in those paychecks, they took out taxes. Therefore they need to send me a W2 so I can square things with the IRS. So when the deadline rolled around and I didn't get my W2, I started making calls.

More specifically, I emailed and called multiple times. I left messages. Once I actually got through and spoke with my old boss. He said he would "call me right back." I never once got a phone call or any kind of response. I tried multiple times. I contacted ex-coworkers - they hadn't heard anything either.

Eventually I gave up on them and just decided I would get the numbers of my last pay stub. But, for some unknown reason, the employer's tax ID number was not on my pay stubs. My resident accountant (Jay's mom) says I need this number, since I'm not actually getting a "tax refund" per se. (I made so little last year, what with the only being employed for 3 months, that I qualify for an Earned Income Credit, which is different than a refund.)

So I begin again what I know to be a fruitless pursuit. I call, I email. I speak with the oher boss, who tells me - surprise - he'll call me right back. He does not. Jay and I decide to take a drive down to the place of business. The building they were in while I was there is completely empty and the company's name is gone. The building they were "moving into" has a different company name on the door. We drive around a bit and I don't see any cars that I recognize. I try calling the other boss again - ok, that was a lie. Jay tries calling the other boss, but from my phone. It goes to voicemail. So now both of them know which number(s) to avoid.

I've tried researching on the internet to find this tax ID number, but since it was such a small company it didn't show up in any records that I had access to. I tried calling the payroll company that did our checks, but they kept insisting I call HR of the employer, not understanding or caring that I can't get a hold of them and that's why this is a problem.

So I am still fuming. A call to the IRS will be made tomorrow, but I don't know if that will actually help me get my money that I so desperately need. It will make me feel better if they go (back) to jail, but smug feelings of vengeance don't pay my bills.

know a good lawyer?

I think the drunk chick at the Rev concert jacked up my neck. I feel like I was in a car accident (and I wasn't - praise Jebus). My neck on just one side feels like it needs to crack, but it doesn't crack. It just hurts. I took a nice long hot shower yesterday, which helped a bit, but it hurts again today. The concert was Saturday. It is now Wednesday. I've been taking steady doses of ibuprofen & tylenol which dull the pain, but never make it disappear completely. I don't think I'm sleeping funnily, though last night the dog kept releasing his lethal gas bombs. This may have led to some unnatural positioning as I hid my head under the pillow.

I should have given that drunk chick a beatdown.



ps - I've been making lots of pretty jewelry, so if you wanted to buy some, you could.