Thursday, February 04, 2010

Maybe it's because I have a headache

Today was definitely one of those days. I had a few doozies.

Like this conversation:
-Excuse me, where is the perfume?
-Just around this corner. (about 10 feet away - easily visible if anyone had bothered to look.)
*a few minutes later, same guy*
-Excuse me, is there someone that can help me?
-Sure what do you need?
-I'm looking for Halle Berry's perfume, Orchid. There's this display of it here, and it has Halle Berry's picture, and pictures of orchids, and a picture of the perfume, but I can't find the perfume.
-Isn't this it? The thing in the picture that is ON the cardboard display that you were just pointing at? That is literally right under your nose?
-Oh, is that it? I didn't know what I was looking for.
-Well see, you'd have to actually look for that statement to be true. (Ok, I didn't say that part.)
-Great, well where do I take this to be gift wrapped?
-We don't do anything like that here, sorry. (But not really sorry.)
-Well will you gift wrap it for me?
-Sorry sir, I have neither the time nor the resources to do that. (I briefly considered saying yes and then charging him a bunch, but that wouldn't solve the "resources" problem.)
-Oh... well where ARE gift wrapping materials?
- Just at the end of this aisle here. (Another thing you would have seen if you did that whole "looking" thing.)

Or this conversation:
-Excuse me, in the paper you advertised Glad Flex trash bags for $9.99. Where would those be?
*I tell her where to go, and it's pretty much on the exact opposite side of the store, as for some reason she asked me this while in the electronics department*
-I looked down this way, but they weren't there.
-No, they wouldn't be that way. They are over there.
-But I looked down this way, and I didn't see them. So does that mean you don't have them? Even though they were in the paper?
-No, that means you weren't looking in the right place. I'm trying to tell you where they are.
-The Glad Flex bags? That's the kind I mean though.
-But I looked this way... well, thank you anyway.
*and she proceeds to walk back the way she already looked - which in case you didn't get it was not the way I was telling her to go*

I also got to find used gum stuck to a sign. WTF would make someone deliberately put gum on a store sign? In addition to the usual crap I have to put up with at work, like finding two 2-liter soda bottles laying on their side in a completely different area of the store then they came from. I mean, I can understand not putting them back where they go, but did you just throw them or what?

Then on my way home, I was yelling at other cars because nobody knows how to drive in this town. Things like driving 40mph on the freeway (which is still set at 55) and changing lanes without looking or using your blinker are pretty standard. It's when they do this all at once that things start to get hairy. Luckily for me and my car, it's also pretty standard to not be in a lane unless other people are there already, so I was able to swerve. Anyway, lots of stuff happened that involved several jackasses pulling this crap all at once and me narrowly avoiding 2 accidents within 30 seconds of each other.

Now I'm home, safe and alone, and watching Futurama and eating mac n cheese. I'd like to think that I was easily irritated because I forgot to take my allergy medicine and had a headache, but we all know that things wouldn't have turned out any differently.


Amy Jo said...

Ah, des. Hang in there. I always put my items back where they belong at Target, because I think of you...

Average Jane said...

You should submit your customer stories to

super des said...

aw, thanks Amy Jo!
And Average Jane, that would lead to e dwelling on them more. :P

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