des as Gemini

On my google homepage, I get my daily horoscope. I don't base my life around what it says or anything, which is good because it is always telling me basically not to say anything. Here's today's, which is a very typical example:

You might not want to be too expressive with your thoughts today as the Moon squares your key planet Mercury. If you do share what's on your mind, your words could be perceived as more aggressive or even combative than you wish. It's better to wait until tomorrow when the Moon is in your sign before telling others what you think. Avoiding a communication impasse is easier if you just don't go there in the first place.

They get that Geminis are crazy and dual-natured, but they don't seem to get that we are also excitable and need to communicate. We have to talk. If we don't talk, then we are plotting. If we are plotting, then worse things will happen than if we open our big fat mouths. Why do you think poor Jay gets to hear about every single inanity of my day at work? We Geminis must keep our mouths flapping. We say what we mean. If you other star signs can't handle it, then tough titties.

Oh, there I go being combative.



ps - next week I'll have my Gemini tattoo, so watch for pictures of that. That's right, I'm proud to be a Gemini.

eating desorder

The problem with not having a job, besides the whole "no money" thing, is that I have all the time in the world to ... well, do nothing. For a few days it was good because Jay was home, so we did all sorts of fun things like go to the zoo and whatnot. But then he got sick, and while he was technically still home, he was in bed sleeping most of the day. So I've fallen back into my old habits.

Unfortunately my old habits are bad habits, as they involve food. Whereas when most people have days off, they eat and eat and eat, I do the opposite. I get so involved in my important work* that I forget to eat entirely. I start getting all shaky and weak and cranky. Then I lay on the couch, edging towards unconsciousness, thinking about how I should be eating. However, it is of no use because everything I can think of sounds yucky. At this point my logical robot brain is broken, so all logic is out the window. I would rather fade away into nothingness than eat something that didn't taste good. And it's things that I normally consider quite tasty, so there is absolutely no basis in Reality World for my thought processes.

Eventually I snap out of it. Sure, I end up eating something like candy or doritos which help my state only minimally. But it's enough to get me through until someone else comes around and I am no longer alone with my crazy, and my newfound best friend can make sure that I eat. So I live to starve another day.

(And no, I'm not anorexic, as I normally love to eat. But I need structure to my day so that I can do this. Logical robot brain. Sorry.)

Speaking of logical robot brains, here is my horoscope for today:
Attempts to use logic to overcome the desires of your heart probably won't be successful today. Even if you can usually convince yourself of nearly anything, your stream of clever words won't be heard by your irrational needs now. Emotions, not cool reason, are dictating your thoughts. Instead of redirecting your feelings, try listening to them.




*You may recall that my important work involves a strict regimen of game shows and Zelda.

horoscope 2/24

It's difficult to control your desire for pleasure today. You may feel as if you have worked hard and now you deserve a bit of time off to replenish your energy. There's nothing wrong with pursuing happiness as long as you don't overdo it. Make time for nurturing your soul as well as your physical senses.

Sounds good to me, but Jay was a little scared.

des goes existential

I had a dream last night. This is not unusual, as I have dreams every night, and they are always vivid (yes, in color) and I generally remember the details. Incidentally, I do try to incorporate my dream stories into my (nonexistant) writing career. However, it turns out that dream-stories do not make any "sense" logically in Reality World.

But last night I had a dream that was not a story. It was a series of pictures. Began with a white field, and not the kind with flowers. Just white nothing. There was also a black outline of a semicircle on the bottom. And there was another on the side of the frame. They would slowly move into each other, one enveloping the other. I tried to draw it using fancy MS-paint, but it didn't add anything to my story, so just use your imagination there.

There was no meaning as far as I could discern. So, I did a little online research (what else am I supposed to do with my day?) and found this:

To dream of a circle, denotes that your affairs will deceive you in their proportions of gain. For a young woman to dream of a circle, warns her of indiscreet involvement to the exclusion of marriage.

That's the only thing related I could find. Apparently my dream is not common enough to interpret easily.

But um, what? Can someone please interpret my interpretation please?


ps - here's today's horoscope:
You may be getting nowhere fast, but for now you are fine with your current lack of progress. But be careful, for your rationalization skills are at a peak. You can talk yourself into or out of nearly anything. Additionally, you should be able to persuade others to go along with your ideas, even if they are not thought out very well. Taking your time to consider a variety of options is better than doing the first thing that sounds good.

Yeah, still confused.

horoscope 10/22

Others may depend on you to show them what they don't know today, but you won't likely be willing to put out the energy. Your obvious lack of interest could upset your coworkers, but you aren't overly concerned with their annoyance. Nevertheless, don't be cavalier; get involved without over-committing and your excitement level will return in a few days.


Ah, stars, you know me so well....
I just don't care.

girl anachronism

A recent conversation with a friend pointed out the following inconsistencies:

I like to go out, but I hate being around people.

I love compliments, but I hate to be hit on.

I'm lazy, but I get tired of being at my house.

My actions make perfect sense to me, just not to those around me. If it's too far away or too hard to get to, I will forgo fun to not have to deal with it. I want everything to come to me. In CA, my house was a good hangout. We had drinks, music, and all sorts of fun things. Plus, there was nowhere to go out to in that town. I guess I got used to that and was spoiled, because guess what? There's always somewhere to go and something to do in NYC. However, it takes more money, and that is something I don't ever have.

So anyway, everyone should come hang out in my hood, all the time. kthanks.




ps here's today's horoscope:
In your trickster mode, you've been known to pull rabbits out of hats, but now the pressure to do magic can get in the way of good results. Instead of relying on magic, it might be smarter to fall back on good old-fashioned hard work. If you stay focused on being true to your feelings, it still could appear easier than it really is.

So, no magic at the bookstore. I think that would really get results, both in doing my job and entertaing / shutting up the kids. There's so much pressure.

feh for jobs

So I had a job interview today. It was pointless, even though I did get to wear the bottom half of my new suit. It's not that I didn't get the job - I'm sure that they're making out my time sheet as I type this - but I didn't want them. I would be making less than half of my previous salary, and only part time hours. I knew I wouldn't be making the same moolah, but for about 1/4 of it? No way. Besides the fact that I'd be working in the cafe section instead of the book section. That's not fun. The only reason I applied to the giant bookstore was for the employee discount, and 30% isn't so super that I can't live without it. Besides the fact that my $100 a week or whatever wouldn't give me any money to spend on the books anyway.

So at some point I'll go back to traipsing the streets of my 'hood, looking for that perfect job. If you see it, can you send it my way? Thanks.

ps - here's what my horoscope said today:
You are very receptive to messages from your subconscious mind now so make use of the guidance you can receive from within. One way to do this is to imagine that your ringing telephone is you calling yourself from the future. Because your key planet Mercury is so grounded today, you can actually have a discussion with a facet of yourself that can tell you what to do. Ask intelligent questions and listen up. This is an opportunity you won't want to miss.
I think I missed the call from my future self because I was at this interview.

interviewing

If you have an interview coming up, spend some time with some good friends right before it. Yesterday I was lucky enough to do this.

After my doctor's appointment (there is a good possibility that I have a cracked rib, and the dr is worried about my shoulder - I'll go in for xrays on both soon) I ate lunch with Suzanne. We wandered around a bit and then I accompanied her to her office. While she finished up a bit of work, I chatted through cell phone magic with the friend I will be Maid-of-Honoring for. That was a good conversation except for the part when she cried because she realized she forgot my bday (she's getting married in like a month! She's busy!). Then I hung out with Suzanne some more before visiting my friend that works on the same floor of the building that my interview was in. We had fun for about an hour, while she piled books into a bag for me, and by the time my interview came I was loose, chatty, and in a very congenial mood.

I think it went well. Everyone send good vibes my way.

And here's my horoscope for today:
You may receive glimpses of your future and you know that you must stop for a breath of fresh air if you are to reach your goals before exhaustion hits. It's not that you are feeling less than; in fact, it may be exactly the opposite. Because you are on a roll, you could be overdoing it. Slow down and make your energy last even longer.

And yesterday:
You want to meet new people and partake in every activity that appears exciting. Remember, however, that it is easy for you to get carried away in the moment -- more so today than usual. Withhold your most intense desires. Make your high ideals your guiding light, instead of being led around by the possibility of indulgent pleasure.

out, out, damn nose!

My throat is no longer sore, but my nose is running a marathon. Yesterday I ran out of tissues at work early in the day so I had to use paper towels. So compounded with the constant clear goo dripping out of my nose, it is also raw from the rough, scratchy, bulk paper products the company buys.

After work, I went to the gym because I hadn't been in 2 weeks. My nose was running the whole time there too. Not fun during cardio. I took a Benadryl, but that didn't stop it. It did slow it down a tiny bit, so my nose was walking a marathon instead of running it. I still went through 200,000 tissues though. This was pretty funny when we went shopping for Craig's new lawyery duds. He was already wearing a suit and carried a briefcase, so he looked like he belonged in the fancy pants stores... until people saw me tagging along with him, with my frumpled blond hair and my backpack, blowing my nose and sniffling constantly, complaining about all the ugly ties.*

Then I went home and took a nap while Craig did more lawyery stuff. He was on the phone, and he talks quite loudly, so my dreams were all confused because I don't speak Lawyer. When he was done, he tried to talk to me. It would go something like this:

Do you want dinner?
No leave me alone. I'm sick.
Do you want to watch tv?
No leave me alone. I'm sick.

I wasn't cranky - I was just bundled up on the couch with a blanket and a box of tissues. I thought about calling in sick today, but I couldn't tell if it was just the hatred of my job breaking through, using my runny nose as an excuse. I decided on coming in. I do feel fine, it's just that there's a faucet in my head that I don't know how to turn off, and I can only breathe through half of my nose, and my ear is funny so I live in half a bubble. It would be exactly the same if I was at home, except I would be in my pajamas. But I do have a fresh supply of tissues today.



* Donald Trump has a collection of ties out. I don't know if you know this. But one that I saw matched my skirt perfectly - shiny red with darker shiny red polka dots. That made me angry because not only is Trumpo a bday stealer (June 14 - Flag Day) but now he's a fabric stealer as well.




ps - here's my horoscope for today:
The events in your life are picking up speed, yet they still may not be moving fast enough for you now. You might feel like you aren't making enough progress, but reality could just be giving you some much needed breathing room. Reassess your direction and put a new plan into action, if necessary.
Breathing room? Very funny, universe.

another quick complaint

Are my complaints ever quick? No. But I'll try to keep this one relatively short.

Old Boss used to keep a supply of various pain relievers and stomach medicine (but no bandaids, which I often need) for the staff by his desk. It is, coincidentally, right by my desk. Therefore I get to see everyone that comes to take medicine and then they ask my permission even though I tell them I don't care because it's not mine. Since Old Boss left, nobody has been replacing the empty bottles. So people come complain to me "There's no aspirin left and I have a headache." I shrug my shoulders. I can't do anything about it. I'm not the magic aspirin man.

These people don't seem to get the concept of "BYOB" (or BYO anything). I can understand getting a headache suddenly and wanting to take drugs for it, I've done this myself. But there are several people over here every single day taking headache and/or tummy medicine. Guess what? You know you're going to need it. Go to the store and buy some and keep it with you. In the case of the tummy medicine, stop eating the foods that give you heartburn. For both things, go see a doctor if your pain is so great and recurrent. I know you have health insurance because you're Union, and I have the same insurance.

Most importantly, don't assume I have anything to do with it just because I happen to sit near where the medicine is!

Rarg.


PS - here's my horoscope for today:
Perhaps you are so busy at work that you need a change very soon. The pace has increased to a peak of craziness, but you aren't willing anymore to put up with what was previously acceptable. Change will happen, whether or not you take action, so don't push too hard or you may regret it later on.

horoscope 3/2

"Remember that meditation is a better solution than medication."

Of course this follows my mantra, it rhymes so it must be true. I didn't copy the whole horoscope today because I am lazy and headachy. It is for this reason that I need both medication AND meditation today. Damn planets.

horoscope 2/13

Something you recently said at work may now come back to haunt you. It's possible that you were simply misquoted or misunderstood, yet a more serious issue is being raised. Even if you have the best of intentions, you may lose faith in your boss or a coworker if they doubt you. Avoid final judgments until you are sure you have all the facts.

Wait - someone I work with will misunderstand me? Could this be leftover from the fight yesterday?
And I would love to lose faith in a boss or coworker, but I've none left to lose.
I'm not allowed to judge til later. We'll see about that.

This is why I talk as little as possible at work. But I mean everything I say. Challenge me. I dare you.

horoscope 2/12

You are ready for sparks that could stir up excitement with another person, possibly even leading to an argument. Lean on your well-known sense of humor so you can push without becoming offensive or feeling offended. Remember, your positive attitude can make this a time of positive growth instead of letting the energy turn combative.

So, I should pick fights because I think it's funny.
Yup. That's certainly easy, and will probably happen.

It's a shame that my positive energy has to lead to positive growth though. I would prefer that my positive energy turned into shrinkage.

I love astrology!

horoscope 2/6

Here's my horoscope for today:

You want to express your creativity today but practicality may be more important than spontaneity. You seek a middle path because you cannot ignore your obligations any more than you can shut down your free-spirited behavior. Manage the extremes by eliminating extraneous noise, turning off your e-mail and postponing unnecessary meetings. If you can make it less hectic, you should be able to create the balance you need.

So basically I need to not be at work so I can bead. Hey, I didn't write it. The planets' authority overrules that of my boss, right? And I do need to finish the necklace I'm currently working on, and make the next one that's in my head (it's pink!) and then I have 2 prospective customers...

Not to mention that it's as cold as All Holy Hell outside. My house is nice and warm, and maybe I could take a nap. And play Zelda.

Yup, I'm in total agreement with my horoscope today.