scam fail

So someone contacted me on Model Mayhem about doing a job. It was going to be a high paying job, almost too good to be true. I had my suspicions, but I went along with it. I was supposed to get paid about 1/3 of my fee in advance, and then show up for one day of (fully clothed!) shooting and get paid the rest. Still sounded too good to be true.

They asked for my name & address to send the payment. It still sounded too good to be true, but they weren't asking for my social security number, or any payment from ME, so I went ahead and gave them my info (which, honestly, if someone wanted I'm sure they could get by some means or another after all and doesn't cause any harm if they do have it). I received an email last night saying I was getting an overnight delivery via UPS with my check, and the check was to be MORE than I was originally told. This definitely sounded WAY too be good to be true. I still had my doubts, but I could really really use the money. I was being taunted with enough money to pay several months' rent, or buy myself a used car on craigslist (which is what I was going to do). But still, the doubts.

Jay was home today when the delivery came, and texted me at work. He said inside the package were 3 postal money orders. At first I was like "sweet! I don't have to wait for a check to clear!" but then he did a bunch of research and found all sorts of scams involving money orders. Conveniently enough, the 800-number to verify money orders through the USPS was down, so when I got off work, we went to the post office so they could verify it in person. I still really really wanted that money, but my scam sense that had been tingling since the beginning was getting stronger and stronger. As soon as we showed the post office employees what he had, every single one of them screamed fraud. They showed me a REAL money order, and how the "security marks" in the fake ones were obviously fake. It was sooooo obvious once I saw the real money orders! And, they pointed out that the money orders were delivered via UPS instead of via post office, even though the person had obviously GONE to the post office to "buy" them, and they were even packaged in a USPS envelope. Hmmm.... trying to avoid the postal inspectors, are we?

So they confiscated the money orders, and made me a copy for my records. Federal authorities will be involved soon. I was bummed that I wasn't a few thousand dollars richer, but not surprised. When I got home I checked my email, and lo and behold there was an email from the guy who sent the money orders. He wanted to make sure I got them, and I deposited them in the bank as soon as possible. Oh, and I'm supposed to forward along the rest of the money (after my initial fee) to some other person also as soon as possible. AND am I still on for shooting on Sunday? Well not only do I have to work Sunday because this is the first I've heard of an actual date, but YEAH RIGHT am I showing up. I mean if the feds wanted me for some sort of sting or something, I would go. But other than that, this guy has been blocked & reported on MM (his profile has since been removed).

I feel like I should've gotten into the scamming industry. I'm sure that a greedier / stupider person would have rushed off to deposit their new money before the banks closed for the weekend, and the sender would be loving life, while the "model" would be fucked. Luckily, I am not used to people paying me thousands of dollars for ANYTHING, so I was wary.

Oh well. Back to making money the old fashioned way. That, by the way, is actually working out pretty awesomely. The store manager has made it a habit of coming to me personally and asking if I can work more hours. Obviously I've proven that not only am I willing to put in the extra work, but that paying me a bit more is worth it because the work gets done! So no get rich quick modeling jobs for me... just good old fashioned chutzpah. It will take longer, but the results will be more permanent.

lessons in jackassery

Pretend you've got some friends that just moved into a new apartment. Because you have no life, you spend every night at this new apartment too. Little do you know that your friends try to avoid you and discourage you from coming over Every. Single. Night. But you still go, and because of your constant presence, you've also met your friends' new neighbors that live downstairs. Unlike you, this cute couple is not upstairs every night, and they are encouraged to visit.

But, this cute couple is very cool so you have become quite comfortable in their presence. So much so that you have no problem walking onto their patio while they are outside grilling, or leaving a box of trash on their patio, or looking into the sliding glass door to see why they aren't outside or upstairs. Even when the house is dark except for the tv, that doesn't stop you from knocking on the glass.

First, ask to use each of their phones - you know, because yours is dead so you can't get ahold of the upstairs folks so they can let you in the building (I'm sure that's an accident, right?). When Cute Boy says "well, we're gonna get back to our movie..." pay no mind to that - you should just stand there silently hinting for an invite inside.

Notice that Cute Girl is glaring at you from her comfy seat on the couch and Cute Boy is not inviting you in even though your virtual begging is not lost on him. It's clearly a date night, but there is probably nothing going on between Cute Couple. Keep in mind that you have done that "patio door knocking" thing and seen them showing their affection to each other (in a fully-clothed sort of way because Cute Couple is not that stupid). So that probably wouldn't happen this time.*

So anyway, you should keep hoping for an invite inside because they must be like you and have nothing else going on. But Cute Boy repeats his attempt to get back to the movie and pretty much shuts the door on you. You also don't know that when Upstairs Girl Friend calls back Cute Girl (remember, you used her phone to call but didn't leave a message) and finds out it was you, there is a sad resigned groan. UGF really wanted Cute Couple to come visit, but when she finds out it was you she is disappointed but not surprised.

And that folks, is a lesson in jackassery. It's happened in real life to your humble narrator (aka Cute Girl), so you know it's a foolproof plan.


* We were actually watching the movie. It was Harry Potter 4.

zoo-ventures with the BFF

I love this whole "membership in the zoo" thing. I get to take lots of great pictures of animals, and it doesn't cost me a damn dime. (ms - I have a job interview on Monday, so hopefully soon things that cost dimes won't matter so much.) So here are some highlights of the most recent trip, which was a chance to show off the Detrizzle Zoo to the BFF. As always, click on the pictures to make them bigger.

First off, a baby penguin. Because, and I repeat, who doesn't love a baby penguin?



Here's a picture of me, the BFF, and Creepy Jay sneaking up on us. The reflective greenness adds to the whole creepyness thing. Also, my jacket is the same color as the light. Creepy creepy.


This one needs a tiny backstory. I took a nice picture of a scarlet ibis and an African spoonbill. See how menacing the spoonbill looks (bottom)?


After I snapped that shot, the spoonbill realized there was a mouse on the ledge just above BFF's head. So he flew over to get it. Right above her head. I'm pretty sure he almost dropped it. On her head.


That made us leave the aviary. On to the reptile house, where things are less apt to be dropped on BFF's head. Or anyone's head, for that matter. Here's a smiling turtle:


Then I had a face-off with a caiman. (Actually we all did, but I'm only posting the picture of me.)


Snakes!



Another side story. Longtime readers and friends know that I have a thing with squirrels. They don't like me, and I don't like them. No that's a lie. They like me very much. So much so, that they want to eat my face. So I don't get close enough to give them a chance. This is why I still have a face. Sure, he looks sweet and innocent all far away.


But then my dear sweet boyfriend thinks it's funny to trick a squirrel into thinking he has a peanut for him. Right next to me and my face.


Yes, both Jay and BFF got to witness the splendor that is des screaming about an attacking squirrel. Gee for some reason I didn't get a picture of the squirrel when he was right about to eat my face. (And I realize that we didn't go to the zoo to see squirrels.)

So on to the Arctic seals. There's this cool tube that goes through the seals' swimming area. Even with all the people there (and the proof that I am, in fact, in MI) it still made a cool picture I think. Also, there's always some jackass that needs to look into my camera. This time, the jackass was Jay. (Love you baby!)

A seal swam directly over us while we were in the tube. I was barely fast enough to get a shot of its tummy.


There are also prairie dogs. They are cute and nothing like squirrels, contrary to what Jay may say. So I like them and take many a picture.


The pond was still frozen, making interesting patterns in the ice.


Here's a nice picture of an angry grizzly bear.


Why is he so angry? Let me zoom out.


I didn't get the machines in the picture, but they were like bulldozing right next to the pen. Boo for that.

For some reason, the Detroit Zoo is very loose with their animals' cages. So peacocks and the like are free to wander around willy-nilly. But they sure are purdy.


This snow monkey was so disappointed in us.


I still heart tigers.


And more with neato reflections. And ducks.


So that was more of the zoo. Yay zoo.

best story ever (involving dogs)

Part of our Southern Road Trip was to Asheville, NC to visit Jay's sister. One night we went to the Rocket Club. The group was me, Jay, Jay's sister, her boyfriend, her roommate (who from here on shall all have clever nicknames), the bartender, and a Weimaraner named Creepy Drifter. Since we were the only patrons of the bar, and the bar was dog-friendly, Sister convinced Boyfriend to go get her and Roommate's dogs, an Rhodesian Ridgeback named Femi, and a Corgi / Beagle mix named Lily. (I've not included an AKC link for Lily, but picture a baying sausage).

Now I'm all for non-purebreed dogs, but Lily was clearly the more uncouth of the group. While the 2 bigger dogs gracefully ran around chasing each other, Lily waddled behind. The big dogs could prance around on the stage, while Lily could barely make it up the stairs.


She was having fun though, and to prove that she was no regular mutt, within 5 minutes of entering the club Lily proceeded to take a massive doggy-poo on the floor. You could see the other dogs turn their noses up at her in disgust. The mess was quickly cleaned up, but the smell lingered. In fact, a coupla other people tried to come into the bar for some drinks, but nobody stuck around long. Would you have?

Just for illustrative purposes, here's a picture of Lily (not taken at the club).


Stinky pile aside, it was a good night. Our own private bar, with dogs. Fun times.

alligators and palm trees: a FL photoblog

So we're back, as I've mentioned. That should also be obvious from the fact that I've begun blogging again. Yay!

We were on our way to Florida to pick up a new ("new") car. Flying down on super cheap tickets, and taking a long drawn road trip back home. Fun times. But the problem with super cheap tickets on unknown airlines is that, maybe you don't get to sit with your flight companion. We were booked several rows apart, and even when we begged and pleaded, there was no way to let us sit together. "The flight was completely full." Boo. So we get on the plane, and Jay and I switch seats. This means I am stuffed in the very back corner of the plane, while Jay uses his magical people skills to try and get the guy next to him to switch seats with me. The guy totally wold have (he said) except that he was traveling with his wife and multiple small children (duh - we were flying in to Orlando, Capital of Family Destinations) and had had to do some cajoling of his own to be in the same row as them. Ok, I resigned myself to the back seat and Jay and I would just have to amuse ourselves long distance with our wonderful Nintendo DSs.

So my very back seat was a cave. It was the back back row, against a wall, so I couldn't recline even if I wanted to. And I did want to. I didn't even have a window. I was a very sad des. My disappointment must have been radiating wildly because as the cabin doors closed, the steward asked me if I wanted to move up to some seats that had been left empty. Apparently someone had missed their flight because there was a row of 2 empty seats that I could "stretch out" in (his words). Hell yes I wanted to move! And as I walked up past Jay's confused look, I told him to come sit with me. So we got to sit together after all.

All this after the flight had already been delayed over an hour due to bad weather in some other part of the country. So we were really excited to get on our way. But wait - there's a snowstorm because we are still in MI and that's what it does here is snow. The plane stood still as wonderful robots rolled up, and lo and behold, my first plane de-icing. Yes, my first. CA has no need for de-icing because there is no ice per se, and if the planes in NYC were icy, well then they just didn't go anywhere. So despite the delay, I was a little giddy. Maybe I broke the rules and snapped some photos. Cuz that's what I do.


There was more delay as we were de-iced, the runway was de-iced, and then we had to move runways as that one re-iced. But finally we got in the air. Here's proof:



I like them purdy clouds.

We landed in Orlando, and for the first time in my life I loved the humidity. Also, I loved that I was no longer wearing my winter coat. So we drive home. Where's home? Easy Street. That's right, Jay's parents are on Easy Street.


That's right.

And about a mile away from Easy Street is a place called Silver Springs, which is basically a park that showcases many of FL's natural wildlife all in one place. It was the best place ever. This is the entrance:



And because I'm in Florida, and they have alligators, I got to see them. This is my first alligator ever:


The great thing about alligators is that they stay so still. It makes for some wonderful photographs. Also, sometimes you think they might be fake. This one is fake:


Also because we were in FL, there was sunshine. This made me and the alligators happy.


Did I mention there were alligators?


Lots of alligators. And crocodiles, apparently. Evil evil crocodiles.


Did you know that river otters are total camera hogs?


But they're super cute so it's ok with me. The des abides.

Randomly, my first gecko! Oh and there are some iguanas, but I'm familiar with those.


Also randomly, there are giraffes there. We got to pet one.


Interesting side story, the crazy toothless lady selling the giraffe food saw me and exclaimed "Well aren't you dressed!" I think she meant dressed up, but she didn't say it. I was like, yeah... I am wearing clothes... good for me? And I want to point out that wearing a dress is different than being dressed up. My hat didn't even match my outfit, sheesh.

Moving on. They had these weird little diorama things in glass cases by the restrooms. The dioramas were populated by zombies. No wonder they were tucked away in the corner.


Yeah. Click on that to make it bigger. Warning, it's a little creepy.

So they also have pumas / mountain lions / cougars in this park. I'm a sucker for big cats, and the alligators were not very entertaining since they didn't really "move." We approach, and we hear roaring. Mountain lion roaring. It went on for so long that I have learned to imitoot it exactly, and can now be all ventriloquist mountain lion on people. It looked like this:


I named him Cranky Kitty, because it sounded like he had a thorn in his paw. When we went back later, he was still roaring, and some redneck douchebag was claiming that he was the one that "got 'im all riled up" even though the cat had been cranky all day. I had to feed that guy to the animals, so I let the alligators and mountain lions fight over him. I didn't stick around to see who won. Point is, that sucka is dead now.

There were also glass bottom boats in this park. Another first for me. Sure there were lots of god fish and turtles and pretty things, but I choose to post the following 2 pictures because they crack me up the most.

A sunken boat. From back in the day when the Spaniards went a'lookin for the Fountain of Youth.


I just find it really funny that I saw a boat through the bottom of another boat.

They film lots of movies in Silver Springs, because the water is so clear and beautiful. Apparently they aren't required to clean up after themselves, as shown here:


Those are statues from the James Bond movie Moonraker, which is now on my list of things that I need to see again so I can laugh at.

What's a nature park without a petting zoo? This mule was kind enough to pose for a photo before the flash scared him off and he ran away.


Speaking of petting, there was a cockatiel in a cage. There were lots of other birds, mostly parrots, and there were big signs that said "CAUTION WE BITE!" This was a total lie. The cockatiel just wanted to be pet.


He was so cute and so sweet, and we tried to take him home with us but the park kinda frowned on it. However, when we were actually leaving the park for the day, I said "bye, we love you" and the bird made almost-word sounds to acknowledge that he loved us too. I cried a little because it was the cutest thing ever.

So that's Florida. We did more and took more pictures, but nothing really worth 'splaining. BUT, if you want to see the rest of my photos from Silver Springs, check the flickr.

Self Esteem Sunday

I don't really need a self esteem boost. I mean, I'm already totally vain. (And that's helped when my boyfriend tells me how pretty / sexy / smart / awesome I am.) But yesterday I got a few.

Remember the male waitress? Well we went back to the brewery for lunch, and Male Waitress was there. He talked to us, and found a way to touch my shoulder. It was relatively innocent, which is why Jay didn't have to give a beatdown, but still a little annoying because I don't like being touched by strangers.

Then later we were in the parking lot fixing the DirtyBird, and Male Waitress came out with a young lady that was probably his girlfriend. He kept throwing glances at me, but I was very careful to not make eye contact. Then as they were kissing goodbye, I got a glance. That's right, he looked at me while kissing his girl. I ran away and hid next to Jay, who was too involved in making sure his car would run to notice. I told him about it and we all agreed it was very creepy.

So I went about the rest of my day with only a minimal amount of teasing from the gang. When I checked my sitemeter, someone had found this blog with this sentence:
"pictures of pretty women with super short hair"

Now, I realize that I haven't posted any pictures of myself recently, but I did just get my hair cut short a few days ago. Anyway, I choose to read it as a compliment to me. Because I'm vain like that.



ps - stay tuned tomorrow for adventures at the zoo.