darn you, again post office!

Hey, remember when I used to hate the post office? Yeah I'm back on that.

So recently a certain unnamed xbf sent me all the stuff that we'd been storing at his parents' house. I was grateful for some of it, like my prom dresses, graduation robe (I was valedictorian, did you know that?) and photo albums. Some of the stuff, eh, not so much. Like the 3 boxes of VHS tapes that I've since replaced with DVDs. Or the stuff that I've been living without for 3 years anyway so didn't really miss. Or the stuff that was never mine to begin with. Long story short, I've been listing things on ebay & craigslist lately.

One of the things was a shiny new purse which sold for $10, and I charged $5 shipping. I mean seriously, it's a purse. It weighs nothing. It's not that big. So I got my $15 via paypal today and Jay had the perfect sized box. It just so happens that it was a priority mail box that something had been shipped to us in, so he flipped it inside out and it magically became a standard brown cardboard box.

So off to the post office. After waiting in line for about half an hour because apparently they've instituted some new policy where no matter how busy they get, they always have to have one person not behind the counter, to "help" the people in line. It doesn't matter if there are 50 people in line and none of them need help - one person on the floor and one person behind the counter, instead of two people behind the counter. It's an awesome system.

Anyway, we get up to the counter finally, and I hand the lady the box to be shipped. She flipped it over and says "this is one of ours, isn't it? I can tell it's a priority box. You have to pay priority to ship it." We pointed out that it didn't actually say priority anywhere on it, and she used her ghetto-ass long fake nails to try & pry the glued seams open. You still couldn't see anywhere that it said priority - you could just see that the other side was white. Then she told us it would be $8 to ship it regular, but since it was so obviously priority, it would be $10. Well, she had not made friends with us today, so we were like "we'll just get another box" when really we went a block away to the UPS Store.

For some reason they charged a "delivery area surcharge" which put the total at just over $16. So it actually cost me over a dollar to send that purse. Just because some lady insisted that she could tell that it was a priority box. Strangely enough, UPS couldn't tell it was a USPS box.

your passive-agressive post office

Day off from work? I get to go to the post office. Yay. You know my love for them just grows and grows. But I had 2 tasks: to mail off this bracelet and (attempt to) pick up my Sweeney Todd poster.

Even though the line wasn't long, it moved slowly, if at all. So I had plenty of time to gaze around and take in my surroundings. Lots of things to read, there in the old post office. Signs up on the wall - which I soon began taking notes on because there were too many and they were too good to forget. I wanted to snap some pictures, but had a feeling that they would label me as a terrorist and ship me off somewhere, or worse, not let me pick up my damn poster.

First there was a rather long sign explaining that they have a new computer software thing so to expect delays. Not out of the ordinary, but I know for a fact that sign was there when I went in over a month ago, and I have a sneaking suspicion it's been there for a long long time. Seriously, how long can they ride that excuse?

Then:

PLEASE COUNT YOUR CHANGE

ok, I see, the postal employees may not be the brightest crayons in the box are harried and busy, which could lead to errors. It's not their responsibility.

WE TEST FOR COUNTERFEIT BILLS

Yes. You should. You're a federal thing.

PLEASE KEEP YOUR POST OFFICE CLEAN

Understood. You work in a place where people are always leaving coffee cups and papers around. Maybe some of the more animal-like among them spit on the floor or something. Nobody wants that. And if it's *mine* I sure as heck want it clean.

PLEASE WAIT TO BE CALLED BY THE NEXT AVAILABLE CLERK

Common sense, but I understand that those crazy people buying books of xmas stamps could get a little unruly.

EVERY CUSTOMER GETS A RECEIPT, EVERY TIME

This seems like it belongs on the employee side of the glass as a gentle reminder. On the customer side, it sounds kinda like a threat. I admit, I was a little too intimidated to say I didn't need a receipt for the $1.47 I spent on shipping.

(on the package-retrieval drawer thingy)
OPEN AND CLOSE SLOWLY

Why? Would the bulletproof glass shatter if I was too hasty? Would my non-explosive package explode? I might like to see that.



So that was just a smattering. I'm sure there were more signs posted around, but it made it too difficult to notice them all.

The important thing is, I got my stuff done and so can stay away for (hopefully ) a long long time.

why is it that..

...I haven't received a single Discover or beading magazine since I moved a few months ago, but I am still getting catalogs from Moss Mini, a company I haven't ordered anything from in years, mostly because the car was sold like 2 years ago?

ah, post office, you never cease to amaze me.

really?

Because I'm a nut like that, I bought a cool poster off of ebay (yeah I know it's not really "rare" but it's still my fave director and actor doing my fave play). Of course they didn't bother to ship it until after I sent them a few gentle reminders which meant that I had no idea when it would be coming, thus not allowing myself to be home from my two jobs to receive it.

Apparently they tried to deliver it today while I was at work. So I had to then call the stupid post office voice-automated phone number to request a redelivery for a day when I will be home. How unnecessary is this voice automated hotline?
Well, when prompted to give the article number, you are given clear instructions to "say each number or letter, one at a time." Really? Do other people possess the power to say more than one letter or number at a time? Because I don't. Can you say both the letter R and the number 3 simultaneously? And don't say "rhee" because that's just saying one quickly before the other.

So I made sure to carefully enunciate each number, then got frustrated and just pushed the buttons on the phone. I finally got through the ordeal and heard "If you're finished, please hang up." Good thing they told me, because I was finished but I was going to stay on the phone, you know, just for fun.

you know, heat, you make it hard to do anything

I've tried going back to the gym. After 3 weeks of not-leaving-the-house-injury, and a few more weeks of still-wearing-an-ankle-brace-injury, and then 2 weeks of vacation, I just needed to get back into the habit. Of course, my habit is different now that I can't just stop by the gym on my way home from work. But I sit around the house all day doing nothing, so I really did try to use that time for something body-constructive.

Monday I set out on an expedition. I'd planned to leave fairly early in the morning (like 10ish) so that it wouldn't be too hot yet. Of course that didn't happen. I left home at like 3. I dressed in my gym clothes and piled a few things into my bag. I just needed to stop by the post office real quick and mail a package, then go to the drugstore directly below my gym, then enjoy a nice refreshing workout after my long absence. Why can't things go as I plan?

After wandering around for longer than I wanted to in the heat, I discovered that the "post office" I was looking for was really just a mail truck. And they did not accept mail dropoffs, so I could not give them my small package. Did I mention it was about 90 degrees with some ungodly humidity? So I wander back to where my gym is, go to the drugstore like I needed to, and head upstairs. I kinda wish I had brought a change of clothes, because I'm already a little sweaty from my fruitless PO adventure. But the locker room is air conditioned, so I stay in there for a bit to cool down.

I head out to the machines. I know that if I do any weights today it will only be a little bit since I'm so out of practice. I head to the cardios. I pick one that has a fan blowing on it and start a-trekking. Soon I realize several things: the fan doesn't do diddly squat. I forgot my towel at home. My decision to not bring my water bottle was a mistake. It's too hot to do anything.

After a sad 10 minutes, I have to stop because I feel like I'm about to die. I go back into the locker room to wash my face and cool down. Now I am really wishing I had brought a change of clothes. I have no choice but to head home and collapse.

This experience was a little daunting, so yesterday I did not even try to think about going to the gym. But today, I had yet another package to mail, besides the first one that still has a deadline. And C started his camping trip today so there was no logical reason for me to stay home. No logical reason except the sweltering heat outside, that is. I did leave the house a bit earlier, but still in the afternoon because I had crap to do in the morning.

I head out to the old reliable PO that is not a truck. It's further away from the gym, but I do need to mail my packages. That taken care of, I head back to the gym. Understand, the PO is a train ride and then a several-block walk away from anything. So I'm already a little overheated. Plus I'm carrying my gym bag, which has those things I forgot the other day; a change of clothes, a towel, and a water bottle. Plus all the regular crap that I carry everywhere.

As I'm waiting for the train, I'm debating going to the gym. I see my reflection and decide I need to go, otherwise I can't complain about being out of shape. (Can you believe C called me frumpy the other day? I whacked him in the face, but still.) Then as I'm still waiting for the train, I feel my sweat dripping down the back of my legs. I'm already dripping sweat, and I haven't even done anything yet except go outside. So I had a brief return to the world of sanity and reality and went home to watch tv and pretend to make jewelry. To be fair, I did do some situps on my bedroom floor, but I no longer have any delusions about leaving the house in the heat to go sweat and die.

resolution

Recently I wrote a rant complaining about the post office. Go read it, because I'm not going to retell the story. So I was waiting for a long time to get this diamond. Then, I got a special order from my jewelry site that involved wooden beads. Since I did not have any wooden beads, I had to order them. I order all my beads from the same place, and I've never had any problems. I can even choose a "regular mail" option and the package will be left in the vestibule with the rest of the mail. Again, I've never had any problems.

A few days after I placed that order, I got a notice from the post office that my package required a signature, and since nobody was home, they would redeliver. All I had to do was call them and reschedule. Sounds very familiar. So I did. They never tried to redeliver. No notice, and definitely no package. I called again. The post office said "it should have been redelivered." Yes I know that. That's why I'm calling you, angry. So I rescheduled again. And again nothing happened. During this time, I had contacted the bead place (who has excellent customer service) and told them what was happening. They said they never requested a signature for delivery, so they don't know why the PO wouldn't deliver my damn package. They didn't say the word damn, but I know they were thinking it like me.

I was livid. I was out 2 packages and an untold amount of money. I called the National Post Office HQ and complained. They gave me the phone # of the local branch so I could complain to a supervisor. Guess what? They didn't answer the phone. Ever. By now, my neighbors could hear much screaming and cussing coming from my apartment. I got on the USPS website to see what else I could do, and they had a "contact us" section just for complaints. Gee, is it that common? So I wrote a very nasty email, including the words "I will never use the PO again." How that would even be possible, I dunno. But I was pissed.

Next day I get an email back with the message "I will contact them right away" and her name and direct phone in case I needed to contact her again. Later that day I get a call from the local branch's supervisor. I wasn't home so she left a message. Next day, I get my beads, left in the vestibule like they are supposed to be. I made this anklet and sent it off to the person who had ordered it (apologizing for the PO's delay). THEN I get an email from the diamond company saying they received my package that had been "returned to sender" over a month ago. I gave them my work address, and I got my package yesterday. I had been waiting over 2 months for it, and the company is based in the 'hat*, only a few miles from my house.

So I emailed an angry letter to a government agency and actually got results. The bead transaction is a done deal, and I am wearing my shiny new necklace as I type this. Who'da thunk it?



* This is what I'm going to start calling Manhattan, because I am too lazy to either say it aloud or type it out.

diamonds are NOT a girl's best friend

Arg. On a recent ebay spree, I stumbled across loose diamonds for sale. I found a pretty (small) yellow – sorry, "champagne" – diamond for $30. I bought it. Later I regretted it because I don't need a diamond, and I could've used the money for something else. But oh well. It arrived and was sparkly, so I bought a chain and setting for it. Then Craig noticed there was a scratched "X" across the top. That shouldn't be. So I emailed the company and they said they would replace it, no problem. But it was a problem. The company did their part and in theory I should've had my sparkly diamond that same week. BUT the post office is full of giant assbutts. They left a notice saying that they had tried to deliver my package but it needed a signature and nobody was there to sign for it. This would have been acceptable had Craig not been on spring break at the time. He was home all day, every day. The day the notice was left, he had not left the house AT ALL, even to go to the store. He didn't even take a shower (vacation – leave him alone). But the post office "tried" to deliver my package. Meaning? They didn't feel like putting that last bit of effort in to ring my apartment bell so C could come down and sign for the package. So we called the post office to reschedule delivery for another day when C (and maybe myself) would be home all day. We even got a confirmation # and everything. There was never another attempt. After 2 weeks of no notice from the post office, I called them. They told me it had been returned to sender. I emailed the sender. They didn't have it. So I waited 3 more weeks (still no diamond and no notice) and emailed the company again. Here is their lovely response: Hello I request you to go to your local post office personally with this tracking number. this item is still there with them. Some one have given you wrong answer to avoid you. If it was send back then tracking info will say it has been return. As per the information...item is still there at post office. when you go there ask them to look for it in firstclass mail with insurance and also give them tracking number. I am sure they will be able to pull out your item in a minute. I request you to go to your post office please If you have any further question, please feel free to e mail us. Thank You. Besides the fact that English is not their first language, they are of absolutely no help. I will try the post office one more time, but I think I am out $30, with no pretty yellow diamond, and left with an empty setting for a stone that exact size and shape. The chain I can use for something else, but I kind of had my heart set on wearing my simple pretty necklace. Rarg.

mailman update

...because inquiring minds want to know.

I was going to give an addition to this yesterday. Here’s what it would have said:

Today the mail came at 4pm. Even though we have 3 mailboxes, our abnormally giant pile of mail - including bills, checks, catalogues, magazines and 2 inflexible large envelopes - was all crammed into one tiny square mailbox. I actually reached my physical limitations to get it out. I had to break the rubber bands holding it together with a key and proceed to pull out the mail one item at a time. When I got to the inflexible envelopes, I hat do brace one foot against the wall and pull as hard as I could. Some of the mail came out torn, but that was all I could do. The mailman bundles all our mail together with the aforementioned rubber bands and stuffs it in, without regard to how we’re going to get it out. We had another mailbox of equal size and one that was even bigger, lying there empty, unused.

Since there was more mail than normal, we assumed that some of the mail we should already have gotten ended up in today’s pile. It took me over an hour to finish it all, which meant I had to stay overtime. However, doing that ensures that

1) even though I am frequently late, I will stay if needed to finish my day’s work, and

2) somebody else won’t try to do it for me, inevitably messing it up and making more work for me.

However, when I got home, I was distracted by my new DVD set of The Tick (animated, not the live action version) and pizza. So no mailman update.

Today, however, striking changes occur:

Our regular mailman is back.

I didn’t speak to him personally, but he said he “didn’t want” 3 months off. There were a lot of complaints registered with the Post Office from the people in our building. There were signs posted everywhere with a phone number to complain. Our regular mailman had “heard” of all the problems we had. Our theory is that his job called him and asked him to return early. Otherwise, why would you give up 3 months paternity leave?

But our mail was here before 1pm today. It was sorted neatly into more than one mailbox. Only our mail was in our boxes. I’m assuming all of our mail was there, because there is a fair amount. A regular amount. And the mailman was nice to my coworker. No snapping, yelling, threatening. A smile, hello, and he handed her the mail. They had a conversation.

Happy mail days are here again.