Monday, November 26, 2007

your passive-agressive post office

Day off from work? I get to go to the post office. Yay. You know my love for them just grows and grows. But I had 2 tasks: to mail off this bracelet and (attempt to) pick up my Sweeney Todd poster.

Even though the line wasn't long, it moved slowly, if at all. So I had plenty of time to gaze around and take in my surroundings. Lots of things to read, there in the old post office. Signs up on the wall - which I soon began taking notes on because there were too many and they were too good to forget. I wanted to snap some pictures, but had a feeling that they would label me as a terrorist and ship me off somewhere, or worse, not let me pick up my damn poster.

First there was a rather long sign explaining that they have a new computer software thing so to expect delays. Not out of the ordinary, but I know for a fact that sign was there when I went in over a month ago, and I have a sneaking suspicion it's been there for a long long time. Seriously, how long can they ride that excuse?

Then:

PLEASE COUNT YOUR CHANGE

ok, I see, the postal employees may not be the brightest crayons in the box are harried and busy, which could lead to errors. It's not their responsibility.

WE TEST FOR COUNTERFEIT BILLS

Yes. You should. You're a federal thing.

PLEASE KEEP YOUR POST OFFICE CLEAN

Understood. You work in a place where people are always leaving coffee cups and papers around. Maybe some of the more animal-like among them spit on the floor or something. Nobody wants that. And if it's *mine* I sure as heck want it clean.

PLEASE WAIT TO BE CALLED BY THE NEXT AVAILABLE CLERK

Common sense, but I understand that those crazy people buying books of xmas stamps could get a little unruly.

EVERY CUSTOMER GETS A RECEIPT, EVERY TIME

This seems like it belongs on the employee side of the glass as a gentle reminder. On the customer side, it sounds kinda like a threat. I admit, I was a little too intimidated to say I didn't need a receipt for the $1.47 I spent on shipping.

(on the package-retrieval drawer thingy)
OPEN AND CLOSE SLOWLY

Why? Would the bulletproof glass shatter if I was too hasty? Would my non-explosive package explode? I might like to see that.



So that was just a smattering. I'm sure there were more signs posted around, but it made it too difficult to notice them all.

The important thing is, I got my stuff done and so can stay away for (hopefully ) a long long time.

13 comments:

jessabean said...

Good for you for noticing all the signs. Because usually when I'm in the post office, I'm concentrating too hard on all the ways I could kill myself if I have to wait another minute to get called to the window.

super des said...

I think I was trying to kill myself with snarkiness.

MsLittlePea said...

Imagine if you had to work there....

super des said...

I probably would be the one making the signs.

Suzanne said...

Oh, the PO by you also still has those bullet-proof window things? It fascinates me that some of the post offices in NYC have not been renovated in any way, shape or form since 1978.

super des said...

ha ha ha, Ms. Upper West Side.

SUEB0B said...

I drove up to the small out of the way ruralish post office and somehow I KNEW before I saw the door, that there would be a sign that said "No cell phone use inside." Yep, I was right.

super des said...

Surprisingly, I didn't see that one. Which explains all the people on their phones...

Suzanne said...

The post office on W. 83rd between Amsterdam and Columbus still has those bullet-proof glass windows and package drops. Back in the 80s, Columbus had a fair share of crack dens. Today, only yuppie scum. I suspect the PO employees need protection from cell phone throwing yuppies, so that's why they kept the glass.

super des said...

my old PO also had it... but it was in the ghet-to so no surprise there.

mar said...

lovely laugh for the end of the day.
also, i bought my ticket to nyc today. i'll arrive at lga on february 26th around 1pm.

Brillig said...

Hahahahaha. Please tell me you were jotting all of this down with some sassy notebook in your hand while you stood there.

super des said...

YOu know I was!

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