parenting 101

Even though I am not yet a parent myself, I've picked up a few helpful hints from working in the Children's section of a large & busy bookstore. Some of them are directly implied by the parents' actions, while others, denoted with an asterisk (*) are verbatim from the parents' mouths.

1. If you don't watch your own kid, someone will do it for you.

2. It's good to let your kids run, scream, and destroy merchandise because it gets all their energy out so they are quiet and well- behaved at home.*

3. If your child is crying, or threatening to cry because he is not getting his way, it's easier to just give him what he wants.

4. Conversely, if your child is screaming but you are involved in your book magazine or conversation, it's easier to just ignore it.

5. If your child is running, screaming, and destroying merchandise, it's because she's a free spirit and you really believe in letting kids be who they are.*

6. If you don't know what your child likes, someone at the bookstore will.

7. When your child likes something, they will only like that one thing - nothing else, even if it's only a tiny bit different. Never try anything new.

8. If your child has a stinky diaper, it's best to just ignore it.

9. Conversely if you just have to change them, you should do it in the middle of an aisle in people's way, not in the bathroom.

I'm sure I will discover more, and update this post accordingly. It has only been 4 days, afterall...