Monday, October 15, 2007

parenting 101

Even though I am not yet a parent myself, I've picked up a few helpful hints from working in the Children's section of a large & busy bookstore. Some of them are directly implied by the parents' actions, while others, denoted with an asterisk (*) are verbatim from the parents' mouths.

1. If you don't watch your own kid, someone will do it for you.

2. It's good to let your kids run, scream, and destroy merchandise because it gets all their energy out so they are quiet and well- behaved at home.*

3. If your child is crying, or threatening to cry because he is not getting his way, it's easier to just give him what he wants.

4. Conversely, if your child is screaming but you are involved in your book magazine or conversation, it's easier to just ignore it.

5. If your child is running, screaming, and destroying merchandise, it's because she's a free spirit and you really believe in letting kids be who they are.*

6. If you don't know what your child likes, someone at the bookstore will.

7. When your child likes something, they will only like that one thing - nothing else, even if it's only a tiny bit different. Never try anything new.

8. If your child has a stinky diaper, it's best to just ignore it.

9. Conversely if you just have to change them, you should do it in the middle of an aisle in people's way, not in the bathroom.

I'm sure I will discover more, and update this post accordingly. It has only been 4 days, afterall...

10 comments:

flutter said...

gah.

DangerDoll said...

Not all parents are like that. Unfortunately, most of them are. :-(

Brillig said...

huh-UUUHHHH! Good crap, people. Parenthood does NOT have to be that way! I would NEVER let my children act like that!

super des said...

I know that not *all* parents act this way. Which is why I have friends that are parents. And they are still alive because I haven't killed them.

Glenna said...

Hey, I worked there a few years ago. I was at cashwrap and we talked about the novelty book Bad Cat a lot. Not a bad time. Let me know when you're working and I'll stop by and pretend to want to buy books for my attic full of children.

super des said...

I'm there wednesday and friday nights this week...

Sudiegirl said...

Yep...I'm in agreement with you. I had a three-year old kid kick me in the leg a few years ago, in the middle of Barnes & Noble.

He looked at me with a grin and said, "I kicked you!"

I replied, "Yes, and it hurt. It wasn't very nice."

THEN the mother runs up all concerned, asking "Did he KICK you?"

Uh...we weren't exactly discussing nuclear physics, chica.

His little sister told me on the way out, "It's OK...Mom'll beat him when we get home."

Out of the mouths of babes.

MsLittlePea said...

Oh no. Poor you. By the way how did your interview go?

Suzanne said...

I hate people. And even though I would not be that kind of parent, this is another reason why I don't want to have kids. While I am already friends with awesome parents who watch their kids and teach them to be respectful, having my own kids would affect which parents I could hang out with, as sometimes kids like other kids who have assholes for parents. No thanks.

Frazzled Mom said...

LOL - I want to first state that I have NEVER done any of what you stated...

Okay...I don't change diapers in the middle of stores or allow my children to distroy items. I may be guilty of ignoring them. Sometimes you just gotta "check out" or they will drive you crazy.

I apologize to you though on behalf of all parents.

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