Tuesday, September 23, 2008

des as baby stealer

Today after work, I went to the mall. After buying a hair flower to match my bridesmaid's dress and a super totally awesome black hoodie with silver foil stars on it (that doesn't quite match my dress, but I'll be bringing it anyway) we took a bathroom break.

The bathrooms in this mall are down a long corridor, cut off from the rest of the world. There is a men's room, a women's room, and a family room. For those not wishing to use the facilities, there is a bench-couch to sit on. I sat myself there. Walking down the hallway at the same time as us was this family. The older boy was probably about 8, and he marched on in to the men's room the same time as Jay. The two women and the younger boy (around 5 or 6 years old) headed to the women's room, and not the family room.

"Jake, do you want to come in here with us? You can hold our bags."
"Can't I just sit out here?"
"No, I don't want someone taking you home without us."

This is not such an odd statement, in and of itself. However, I was the only person around. There was nobody else even in the hallway leading to the bathrooms, let alone the "foyer." So... this woman was not-so-subtley implying that I - sweet little ol' me - was going to kidnap her son.

Lady, I don't want your kid. I don't want anybody's kid. If I wanted a kid, I'd have one. But thanks for assuming that your precious boy is so super totally awesome that I'd steal him. We won't even go into the problem you have with forcing a child to go into the restroom with you. If he's old enough to protest, he's old enough to stay outside. Which means he's also old enough to put up a fight if I for some reason did want to try take him. And I don't.

So that's why I stole the other little boy.

Just kidding.

Maybe.

7 comments:

SUEB0B said...

Maybe they meant the boogieman who was hiding in the men's room, ready to spring out. But the older boy - 8? - was old enough to defend himself? Weird.

I had this happen one time in a cooking supply store. These two ladies were in there with the owner, and I came in and was the only other person. The two ladies RUSHED over to snatch up their purses that they had left on the counter...it was like I carrying a weapon or something.

arlenestarr said...

Hmmmm, des the baby stealer and Arlene the terrorist with a camera. Kind of makes me wonder about people.

super des said...

sb - I used to watch old white ladies on the subway hold their purses a little tighter if a black guy got on. But I never once saw anyone attempt to steal a purse.

Arlene - you & I are just up to no good. We're bad apples.

MsLittlePea said...

They may have been doing you a favor. This kid could have been a bad seed and they didn't want him bothering you....

super des said...

didn't think of it like that before, Pea. You're right. I don't want that hassle.

mar said...

8 year olds can reach higher shelves. you were better off taking that one.

super des said...

I am pretty short....

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