Tuesday, May 27, 2008

enchiladas and bitches

Today after running some errands, we decided we needed Mexican food. We had some Mexican food a coupla days ago, and it was tasty and good. However, that restaurant is not near where we were today, or near our house. So we went somewhere else.

The interior decor of the restaurant was cool - there were lots of skylights and windows, and the walls were painted like peeling plaster over brick. There was a cool fountain in the center of the dining room, and lots of (fake) plants around. They recreated the vibe of a Mexican cafe muy bien. That's where things started to go wrong.

The waitress came to take our drink orders. Normally I would go for one of their "famous" margaritas, but the lunch special I was eyeing came with a free soda. So Sprite it was. Jay asked what beers were on tap. There were 3 of them, and the waitress couldn't remember what they were. Ok, so she's new here. No biggie, right? Well....

Several minutes after I got my soda, Jay got his beer. We ordered our food, both of us getting a different lunch combo. Jay ordered 2 hard-shelled tacos, a chicken enchilada, and a bowl of soup. Mine was supposed to be 2 cheese enchiladas, a side salad, and the standard rice & beans. As I was telling her which sides I wanted she looked over my shoulder at the menu to see what the combo included. Ok, again, she's clearly new.

Then she brought out our food. Oh good, there are my... chicken enchiladas? And Jay's soft tacos? So she brought all of our food back into the kitchen, put a rush on it, and tried again. Everything looks right, so we start eating. Turns out one of my enchiladas was cheese (which is what I wanted) and one is cheese and onion. Fine, I'll still eat it, though it isn't very tasty. Jay eats his hard tacos and digs into his... cheese and onion enchilada. We realize now that I should have given him one of the chicken enchiladas I was originally given, but it's too late for that. We bug the waitress one more time to please bring out the correct food. Finally! We're hungry and we don't care.

About this point, one of the 7 managers on duty (which is more than all of the customers combined) walks by and asks if everything's alright. But since it's a slow day, he knows everything isn't alright because he saw the waitress bring back 3 incorrect orders to the kitchen. We say that yes, there was a little mixup, but we're fine now. "Is there anything I can do for you?" Hint, hint. This is the part where we were supposed to ask for and receive coupons for free meals on our next visit. But to tell you the truth, there probably won't be a next visit. Not just because of the service - the food was too mediocre to justify buying. And I think the manager realizes this, so is unhappy with our failure to receive free food.

Then the waitress brings out our bill. Jay gives her his credit card, she runs it, and brings it back. But there is no pen with which to sign the receipt (or add in a tip!). This too gets remedied, and we begin our merry way home.

However, our merry way is briefly interrupted when - during rush hour traffic - a red jeep at a stop sign decides that he needs to turn into the left lane of a busy street. This would be fine, except that he apparently decided this mid-turn, so is now blocking an entire lane of traffic by "turning" perpendicular to the flow of movement. We needed to turn right here, and there is barely enough room for us to do so. We do make it though, and definitely gun the engine as we do so. That's not a vroom vroom to show that we are hot shit, it's a vroom vroom to show that we are in a 1977 Thunderbird, and we have a giant engine which we need when trying to go around jackasses blocking traffic. So we move up to the next stoplight. There is lots of space for us because nobody could get past the jeep if they were going straight.

But then, the furthest left lane (the left turn lane) starts to move, and the jeep gets its chance. as they pass by us, the passenger hangs halfway out the window and yells through 2 lanes of traffic "You're a bitch!" and proceeds to flip us the bird. Meanwhile, his buddy the driver is running a red light so he doesn't have to face any consequences for cussing us out. Really? Listen, Mr. Sixteen Year Old, with your spiky hair and frosted tips and your long sleeved t-shirt, we are not the bitch. Besides the fact that "bitch" isn't an appropriate insult for this incident, you are lucky that our giant steel monster was able to avoid hitting your shiny new red jeep that was blocking one, maybe two, lanes of traffic. Do you really wanna have a car fight? Cuz we'll win. And if we were so inclined, we could catch you even after you ran that red light to run away from us. But we're not 16. We just laughed at you and your stupid appearance and your stupid insult, and found comfort in the fact that we don't have to seek out any vengeance on you. You're clearly a jackass, so you'll get what's coming.

Meanwhile, I'll be at home telling the internets about you and the crappy waitress. And they're all gonna laugh at you.

7 comments:

mar said...

i laughed. :|

Arlene said...

So did I. (laugh that is)

super des said...

Thanks guys, I knew I could count on you! Way to back me up.

jessabean said...

BEST POST TITLE EVER.

MsLittlePea said...

I laughed too. Dumbasses.

Alex Elliot said...

I'm surprised that they didn't offer you a free meal.

super des said...

Well the manager hinted at it. Jay says he wouldn't feel right getting it for free because even though it was wrong so many times, "he ate the fuck out of it."

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