des as dream lecturer

Last night I had a dream that my niece was off to college. She was very excited as her first day approached, and everyone was giving her advice and stuff.
Being the young cool aunt that I am, I pulled her aside and gave her the following speech:

"Everyone always says, don't do drugs or drink or have sex while you're in college. But we both know that you're going to. So speaking from experience, do all you want, just plan for it. Make sure you have no homework or papers to write on a night when you get smashed."

The funny thing is that besides the fact that my niece still has 2 more years before I would theoretically have this conversation. Also, it's not a philosophy I myself followed. I was more of a prude than a Girl Gone Wild (though I did partake in my share).