Sunday, December 09, 2007

'tis the season

Normally the customers at my store are regular and normal and don't irritate me even though *some* of them are idiots (which is bound to happen, and I accept that). But xmastime shopping brings out the loonies.

Phone rings:
person: Yeah, hi, how much is that laptop bag?
me: which one?
person: in the back, against the wall on the right.
me: yeah, that's where all the laptop bags are. Do you know which company makes it?
person: (to someone else not on the phone) Which company makes it?
(to me) I don't know.
me: ok. Um, what color is it?
person: (to someone else not on the phone) Is it black or brown?
(to me) It's brown.
me: Ok, that eliminates a few. Do you know what material it's made of?
person: (to someone else not on the phone) What's it made out of?
(to me) No.
me: ooookaaaay. Is it plain or does it have designs?
person: It has iron stitching.
me: I don't know what that means. I'm not sure which bag you're looking for. Can you give me any more details?
person: (to someone else not on the phone) What else?
(to me) It has iron stitching. It's right there.
me, glancing over my shoulder expecting to see someone on a cell phone: Maybe you should just come down here. We close at 9 tonight.

I don't know if they ever came in. Or why I couldn't talk to the person who had actually seen the bag.

Then later:
A guy walks in the store and makes a beeline for me at my post in the back.
me: Hi!
guy: Do you work here?
me: I sure do!
guy, looking around, confused: So uh... what do you sell here?
(I gesture around to the entire store)
guy: so, like, just stuff?
me: Yeah. Just stuff.

then later still:
I admit it. It was me. I was the annoying customer. Just because I had a "little" sushi accident at lunch that involved spilling soy sauce all over my pants, shoes, the counter, the floor, and somehow not the computer. I smelled like soy sauce for the rest of the day. I'm sure nobody else could smell it, but thanks to the super combo of Super Smell Power and paranoia, I kept trying to move throughout the crowded store to get away from the soy sauciness of myself. But at least I wasn't an idiot.


flutter said...

Iron stitching? Wha?

super des said...

I repeated it back to her, enunciating clearly, and she repeated it back to me.
Still no idea.

SUEB0B said...

Oh, the iron stitching is this season's must-have. Right? Right?

I once worked in a copy center where a guy walked in, looked at all the industrial high-speed copiers and said "Is this McMahan's Furniture?"

super des said...

ha ha ha.
People are so darn observant.

jessabean said...

Man, retail is so makes for great stories!

Soy sauce incident, unfortunately, sucks. I spill coffee on myself regularly, so I smell like vanilla latte most days.

super des said...

I'd rather smell like vanilla latte, but I can see how that would get old.

Jbeeky said...

Eau de Soy sucks.

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