my least favorite part

I know, I know, you're sick of hearing about BlogHer. This is the last one, I promise.

On Sunday, the day after the conference ended, we signed up for an informal "unconference." It cost about $25 more, but we figured what the heck. What the heck indeed. It was in our own hotel, so we went downstairs. At the bottom of the stairs was a small room with breakfast - plates of fruit, coffee, and a toaster for bagels and english muffins (also supplied). As the girls and I gathered our morning foodstuffs, some woman we'd never seen before (and that did not work for BlogHer) comes between Suzanne and I and says that we need to go in the other room and sit in the circle. What? We need to finish getting the breakfast that we paid for because we are already cranky and who the hell are you?

So she walks away and we continue gathering our breakfast. When we go into the other room, there are plenty of empty tables around. This is because everyone (30 or so people) is sitting in chairs in a circle. We all decide it would be best to put our food & drink on a table instead of out laps because we are less talented in the "eating not messy" area than some people might think. So we are eating at a table, relatively close to the precious circle - and I mean close enough to still hear what's going on - and the same lady comes over and says "You need to go in the circle! Right now!"

My memory was clouded by rage and hunger, so I don't remember who responded first. But Suzanne and I definitely tag-teamed the psycho bitch by saying, "No, we need to eat our damn breakfast, and you need to shut the hell up about the circle. This is supposed to be an informal meeting. You need to stop bossing us around and let us eat our damn breakfast!" (I told you we were cranky!) The woman rolls her eyes at us and walks away muttering "fine, don't sit in the circle!" which was loud enough for Count Mockula to hear, but quiet enough for Suze and I to miss under our voracious chewing and slurping.

So we take our time with breakfast. I for one have already decided that I hate this psycho bitch. Alex Elliot was a good girl and went to sit in the circle. Suze decided she would go over just for the introductions and then come back. I continued eating until psycho bitch (now with microphone action) gets to the place I would be sitting. I calmly walk over and sit down while Suze does her introduction. I notice that psycho bitch is also an utter control freak because she insists on holding the microphone up to people's mouths while they say their one allotted sentence (if you go over your small limit then psycho bitch control freak gets even angrier), instead of just handing it to them. Suze of course is feisty, so she yanked the mic out of psycho bitch control freak's hand. My turn came and I tried to also yank, but psycho bitch control freak had wizened up and would not lose control again. During my entire sentence, which felt like an eternity, we were playing tug-of-war with the mic. Lame. When I was done, I went back to my table and my breakfast, where Count Mock had remained the whole time.

I'll point out some of the "issues" that were highlighted by psycho bitch control freak (and posted on the walls) while I was eating.
-Whenever people show up, that's the right time to begin. Unless they are trying to eat breakfast.
-Whomever shows up, those are the people that are supposed to be there. Again, unless they are trying to eat breakfast.
-If you are not participating, you are bringing down the energy of the group, so it's better for everyone if you just leave. So I got up and left.

I went back to the hotel room, made some phone calls, and watched a helicopter do a cargo run on the roof across the the street. Soon the other gals joined me, and we proceeded on our day to go do fun things. We heard from other people later that the "unconference" got a lot better, but psycho bitch control freak had already blown it with me. I had much more fun on my Suzanne-led tour of Chicago (which included yummy yummy ice cream and a boat tour) than I would have if I stayed to be yelled at.

The lesson is: don't mess with someone when they are tired and cranky.