Tuesday, August 07, 2007

back to life, back to reality

My least favorite part about vacations is the coming home part. Sure, it's nice to sleep in your own bed and eat your own food and pet your own cat, but it's not nice coming back to Reality World. After all my fun, I now have to face the fact that I am unemployed and living in NYC. This is stressful. Last time I was jobless, it took me 3 months to find a job, and that only after settling for something I didn't like.

I've said it before: I'm not cut out for an office job. I hate every aspect of them. And so preparing my resume and applying to jobs seems like a more daunting task because the goal is not something I want to attain anyway. Why should I put effort into something that won't make me happy?

I know that I need a job. I need to pay rent and buy food and do anything in this city. But all the jobs I think I would like, I am unqualified for. All the jobs I am qualified for, I don't like, plus there are thousands of other people vying for the same position. I can't sit around my house anymore, but I don't want to go outside because it's disgusting out there. It's not a problem of motivation, it's just a problem of stress and happiness. I want a quick solution, but I know one doesn't exist. I want to be happy, but I see that so many people aren't, so I might as well resign myself to it.

But I just can't bring myself to do it.

13 comments:

Count Mockula said...

You're in a tough spot. I can only wish you luck in finding something you won't hate.

On another note, I love the fireworks collage.

super des said...

Rarg.

But I also like the fireworks.

flutter said...

All you need to do, is come live with me and be my house bitch. ;)

super des said...

I keep telling you, that would defeat the purpose of living in nYC. Move here, then I'll be your house bitch, I promise.

mar said...

wb to the blog.
good luck in the job search. i wish i could do something i loved. i'm hoping to submit the next article i write to a few mags, but that is only going to be pocket change if published. *sigh*

Monkey said...

This is a tough spot to be in. Not to provide unwanted ass-vice, but have you read any of those find your true career path books ala "What Color is your Parachute?"

I was once in this position- quit a job I hated, realized I did not want to be a project manager anymore and ended up going back to school to pursue another career. It was tough going from a real full time job to tutoring and temping my way through school, but for me it was very worth it in the end.

I wish you the best of luck and many wishes for the right thing to come along for you.

super des said...

mar, that's the trouble with freelance writing - most don't pay a living wage. Good luck though!

and monkey, I was going to go back to school but I didn't get in. Maybe someday, but I'm still stuck for right now.

DangerDoll said...

I feel your pain. I spent this summer jobless on purpose, dabbling in this and that to see what I really enjoy. The depressing conclusion was that there are a couple of things I'm a complete natural and totally kick ass at, but in order to do them in the "real world", you must have XYZ degree. And there's no way around it, no way to beg potential employers, "just test me! I can do it!". And I'm not spending bazillions of dollars to go to school to learn what I already have taught myself.

Best of luck to you in finding something that doesn't suck ass...

super des said...

Aw, dd, that sounds just like me. I'm not so impressive on paper, but I kick ass in real life.

MsLittlePea said...

I loved the photos. And the new look over here. Hope you find something you like :o)

BTW did you get any emails from creepy blogstalking person?

super des said...

I have not gotten any emails since the conference. I may have gotten some in the beginning of our "relationship."

SUEB0B said...

How about talking to Robin about the dogwalking business?

Mitch McDad said...

That's a really crappy situation. And the worst part is that there is no easy answer.

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