adventures in oatmeal

After a full day of eating side dishes because there were less optimal veggo dishes than I would have preferred (you mean I can have chicken or sausage or shrimp wrapped in bacon?), BlogHer finally came to its senses. They told us this morning that there are vegetarian / vegan dishes available, but they aren't out because "they look so tasty that the non-vegetarians might eat it all up." We (apparently) just have to ask one of the tuxedo guys.

I got a tip from a second grader that there was oatmeal to be had. Though I had my share of tasty fruits, bagels, and a pastry for good measure, I like me some oatmeal. So I asked a tuxedo guy.
"No, there's no oatmeal on the menu."
"But I thought there was a special meal for vegetarians and vegans."
"I don't think so but I'll go ask in the back."

I came back to my table friends and reported on my possible lack of oatmeal. I was in turn told that I should have gone to the other table and asked for Andres, who is clearly the secret contact through the gateway of veganism. But then the tuxedo guy I had asked came out with a
bowl and I got excited with oatmeal anticipation. He set it down in front of me and... it looked like a bowl of water with oats in it. It was uber-runny and not at all having the consistency usually associated with oatmeal - even the instant microwave kind.

So I took a bite. It was cold. I was served a lump of oats submerged in cold water. I didn't eat it.