hot & dry

Again, the office has no idea how to work the temperature control. It’s cold outside, but not cold enough to snow, so the heater is on. This would be a good idea if the heater wasn’t on constantly, set to 90 degrees. I’d rather the heat wasn’t on so I could drink hot chocolate and tea and use my tiny new heater. But it’s sweltering in here, and my fan only blows hot air at my face.

I’m worried I’m going to get a nosebleed. I am keeping myself hydrated, but there is still an underlying fear. And the fear is well founded, as I have had 2 nosebleeds in my life. I remember them vividly, as they were among the worst experiences of my life.

The first happened while I was in the bookstore in the Woodland Mall. The Boyfriend & I were looking at books and my nose exploded. It was not a trickle of blood; a formidable geyser of blood gushed forth from my nose. It was if I had been hit in the face with a large 2x4 wielded by an angry dwarf. There was blood on the floor and on my shirt. I ran to the cashier, hands uselessly covering my face, and asked pseudo-calmly where the bathroom was. Blank stare. Less calmly, I screamed at him to tell me where the bathroom was because my nose exploded. The boyfriend ushered me out of the way and somehow got the kid to point us in the right direction. It was clear that the kid was sure some sort of domestic violence had erupted in his store, but he was unsure as to what to do about it.

The second such incident was similar. Again I was shopping with the boyfriend. This time we were at the Geoffrey Beene Outlet Store. The boyfriend was trying on some clothes and I was sitting outside the dressing room when it happened. I again ran to the cashier looking for the bathroom. This time I was immediately shown into the employees’ bathroom, which was not as clean as I would have liked, but had a ready supply of toilet paper for which to soak up my blood. Then the boyfriend emerged to find my stuff in a disheveled pile and no girlfriend to be found. This was a few years after the initial incident, so I’m sure it didn’t cross his mind that I was in mortal nose peril. There were 3 people in the entire store – me, the boyfriend, and the cashier. The boyfriend asked the cashier where I had gone, but the cashier refused to answer. I don’t know if the cashier thought he was protecting me or what, but several minutes later I left the bathroom and headed into the cold December outside.

They always say to pinch your nose and lean your head back. I tried this. I could feel the thick coppery blood running down my throat. This made me gag and spit the blood out of my mouth, which grossed me out beyond belief. So I continued leaning forward, letting the blood pour out of my nose the correct, natural way.

I did have another nosebleed, but it was far less traumatic. I was at work, near the bathroom, and there was far less blood. This time was still not a trickle, but far less than a geyser. I only mention it because I had forgotten about it until now.

So now you know one of the reasons why I drink so much water. Seems to help, but my body & brain still freak out at the prospect of blood flowing freely from my nose.