Friday Feminism

Until now I have refrained from mentioning anything news-related because you all know that I am too self-centered to write about anything that does not directly concern me. I have also refrained from unleashing my feminist manifesto on the world, because once I stop controlling it, I find feminism issues with everything. Then I tend to rant about them. Forever.

Recently though, I have been hanging out with some really great feminists, and their influence is certainly rubbing off, fueling my own fire. I found this article in the paper. It made me so angry that I actually tore it out of the newspaper in the lunchroom and brought it home to write a ranting blog about. Even the boyfriend agreed the article was more than a little, shall we say, slanted. However, I resolved that I would not write about it that night, because I was already in a bad mood and writing this would not serve as therapy as it often does. I would only get angrier in the writing. So I left the article on my desk to be buried by law school papers, cd’s, and general hubbub.

Last night, while searching for a wedding invitation, I re-discovered the article. I had not entirely forgotten about it, just pushed it to the bottom of my brain to fume about later. Today is later enough.

Note: Things in bold are direct quotes from the article.

“Bikinis and Buzz Cuts” explains how there is a growing sanction of men that want the same pampering as women -- whether it's a pedicure or a body wax -- but feel uncomfortable about the overwhelming femininity of most salons, whether they be aimed at women or those flashy “metrosexuals.” It was either endure the modern unisex hair salon, with its flowery smells and complicated gels, or put up with the cigarette-smoking barber down the street. Because in most places, barbers are allowed to smoke while cutting hair, apparently. And women’s hair products are too complicated – but men still want the same result. So some men (of course) decided to cash in on this trend and open a chain of male-oriented salons. The result has been a boomlet in salons designed for macho appeal. The whole thing seems so oxymoronic.

In these new “progressive” salons, men sit in big comfy chairs while women in bikinis perform services such as pedicures, waxing, highlighting and massages, along with haircuts. Of course there are women in bikinis. After all, life's too short for an ugly barber. And a bikini makes you beautiful. The women are trained to make sports-related small talk, and if the men get tired of the useless feminine “brain,” the lovely ladies will shut up while the men watch tv, remote in hand. Some of the salons even feature leather couches and free liquor. Because why would a man go somewhere if he couldn’t have a few drinks?

I believe this is the exact Webster’s definition of “pampering.”

And, of course there are women willing to take these jobs, even though finding the right employees an obstacle. Why shouldn’t it be? Look at all the skills they need to qualify:

1. Be a woman. Having a man touch your hair makes you gay, everyone knows that.
2. Look good in a bikini (judged by a man – self image does not count for anything here).
3. Memorization of sports statistics – but nothing too complicated. Just know what teams play what sports, and how said team is doing in their respective sport. We don’t want to overtax your brain with difficult “man stuff.”
4. One girl just liked the idea of wearing less clothes to work. This is a model employee, people.
5. Have your cosmetology license (I’m assuming – they might let that slide if the other qualifications are met).


It’s a cute little shallow article - as all newspaper articles should be - in order to keep the interest of the type of people that go to these salons. Or work at them. You can go read the entire article if you want, but I’ve given you the gist of it. The great thing is, I didn’t even have to put my own slant on the article. The quotes do a better job than I ever could. This was so easy, I might just make every Friday a Feminist Manifesto Friday.