Wednesday, March 29, 2006

slow news day?

This was the most interesting thing in the free paper today. I don't need to mention that the free paper is always more interesting than the pay paper (except the headlines of the POST. Those are always hilarious).

Crazy Cat Cited
Residents of the neighborhood of Sunset Circle in Fairfield, Conn., say they have been terrorized by a crazy cat named lewis. Lewis has been uniquely cited with a restraining order by the town's animal control officer. "He looks like Felix the Cat and hsas six toes oon each foot, each with a long claw," Janet Kettman, a neighbor said Monday. The neighbors said the cat attacked at least half a dozen people and ambushed the Avon lady. (AP)

1) How are they going to enforce a restraining order on a cat? Normal cats don't listen to anyone, let alone crazy ones.
2) Why did the cat (and the reporter) single out the Avon lady?
3) Is the cat considered crazy, and thus a social outcast, purely because of his six-toed abnormality?
4) Has anyone tried reaching out to the cat? Maybe he just needs someone to talk to and love him.
5) How do I know this isn't made up? And if it is made up, how come these people aren't hiring me? I can make up stuff like this all day long.

Another news story in the same paper. This one spanned a lot more page space than the cat one, so I'll just give you the gist of it.

Baby chokes.
Nanny runs down street to hospital.
Nanny (and baby) get hit by an SUV.
Baby still choking; Nanny screaming "The baby's dying!"
Police officer surprised Nanny didn't drop baby.
Police officer goes to get his friend.
Friend does Heimlich Maneuver on blue-faced baby.
Nanny needs surgery on both legs.
Nanny and baby both live.

Now that's one dedicated nanny! And where the hell are the parents? They'd better pay for that nanny's medical bills, and give her a raise. Even if the nanny is the reason the baby choked in the first place, she still got him to safety at the expense of her own legs.

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