Best customers ever

Let me set the scene:
Normal day for des at work. A young couple - like younger than me - walk in the door. He is wearing a dirty baseball cap over messy brown hair. He's got a few days' worth of stubble, and his clothes are baggy and, to be honest, kinda gross. She is the complete opposite; bleached blond straightened hair, fake tan, designer sunglasses and purse.

"We just need to get a quick loan to pay 2 bills."

Now whenever someone approaches me in this way, it is guaranteed that they do not have the required paperwork. So I say "Ok, I just need your driver's license, social security card, most recent pay stub, most recent bank statement, and checkbook." They didn't have the bank statement. So they went to fetch one. I should note that at this point they were a little agitated.

I go about my day, la dee da, and these kids come back. Silly me, I was expecting them to have everything they needed, since I had already told them what they needed and pointed to the sign that says the same thing. This time he didn't have his socal security card. Which was on the list that I already gave them both orally and written. Yet they acted surprised that I needed it like I had changed the sign. They tried to convince me that they didn't need it and I could accept a substitute. Since neither of those are possible, they got a little more pissed and left again to go find it.

More time passes, and they come back yet again. Since they are not the nicest people in the world, I am less than thrilled about having to stop my internet time to go talk to them. Something tells me it won't be different this time. I'm right - he still doesn't have his social security card. Apparently they "went to the Social Security office and it was closed." That's odd, since it's 3:30pm on a Wednesday. But whatever, still no SS card. But he did bring another paystub in! Yay, because that's the same thing, right? When I told them that bringing me a copy of something I already had didn't help, they argued that it should be fine since it "had his full name and everything" on it. It did have his full name - and address even! - yet I still don't have proof of his SS#. I broke the news to them that I would lose my job if I gave them a loan without the SS card, and for once I was actually glad of the bulletproof glass between us because he looked like he really really wanted to punch me in the face. I got the feeling that they thought I was just being a dick to them for the sake of being a dick, but really it was because they were being dicks to me and were completely unprepared.

They storm out again, and I am sure I'm done with them. Cut to around 6pm, almost closing time, and they come back. This time we're going to do the loan under the bitchy girlfriend's name. Fine. So I repeat my speech about needing her driver's license, SS card, most recent pay stub, most recent bank statement, and checkbook. The same stuff I have been telling them all day, and has been on the sign since before I started even working there. She gives me everything, and I notice that her bank statement is from December. Since it is now May, this can't be her most recent one. I tell her this and she throws a fit because she is a bitch and she "does everything online" so doesn't have anything more recent. (I don't bother telling her how easy it is to print statements from the website.) I say "alright, I know you guys have been trying all day to get a loan, so I'll take this old statement this time. Before you borrow again, you need to bring me a more recent one."

We're almost all set. I even have the application in hand for her to fill out. I ask to see her checkbook, which is the only item she hasn't handed me. "I don't have a checkbook - I use my debit card." Goddammit people. I never said debit card, I have always said checkbook. They are NOT the same thing! You need to write me a check as collateral. I can do absolutely nothing with a debit card, no matter how much you argue with me. Well, this set them off. She grabs her designer bag off the counter and storms out the door. He punches himself in the leg (again, glad for the bulletproof glass), mutters something, and storms out. Now I'm pretty sure I'll never see them again, and I say good riddance to bad rubbish.

This time, however, there was another customer in the store during their little outburst. A regular customer of mine that I can laugh & joke with. He asks if they take debit cards for Anger Management classes, and we have a good laugh. Then he knocks on the glass to make sure it is shatterproof because he doesn't "want that guy coming back for me" and we laugh again. We complete our transaction smooth as pie because what? He's prepared. I thank him for not being a dick, and we laugh again. Then he shakes his head and says "these damn kids today" and leaves so I can close the store.

So there's my grand story of the day. Sure, from a business prospective, it sucked. But I would rather lose the potential business then have to be abused by those horrible people. Made for a good story though, right?