Tuesday, April 15, 2008

secret confession

Don't read this if you live in my apartment building.

Since Midnight has recently decided he likes to pee on things that are inside the house rather than outside like a good doggy, laundry had to be done. The dryer on the 1st floor (where I live) is often a jerk and stops after going for only a few short minutes, so oftentimes the dryer on the second floor is used. If I don't keep on it, I'll forget about the laundry. This is why I make a point to keep on it.

So today, I ran upstairs to check on the load. Still drying. So I went home. Few minutes later, I ran back up. Still drying, and this time someone had started the washer going. Each floor has one washer and one dryer, so I thought it was odd that this person couldn't wait a few minutes til my dryer load was done, as everyone knows that washers are faster than dryers.

I go upstairs again. Still drying and still washing. Back home. I might mention at this time that I'm not doing anything super time consuming - I'm rockin out some Guitar Hero. After a coupla songs, seriously no more than 15 minutes, I go back upstairs because I know my laundry's gotta be just about done by now. As I walk up, I can hear the dryer still going. That's weird. I get there, and I see my load of laundry sitting in a wrinkled hump on top of the dryer. The Laundry Interloper has clearly switched their load over because I was taking too long.

I have 2 problems with this:
First, my laundry was not sitting in the dryer for that long. I know this because of the constant running upstairs to check and because my laundry was still warm.
Second, don't just pile clothes in a heap! That's how things get horribly wrinkled! I'll let it slide this time because it wasn't my interview clothes... it was the dog's blankets and some assorted clothing. But still. Rude rude rude.

So what did I do? I may have said out loud "god, what an asshole" as I slightly opened the dryer door to make it stop. And I did not push the start button to keep a'tumbling. That's right, Impatient Betty (I'm not assuming this person is a woman because he or she is doing laundry - I just like the way "Impatient Betty" sounds as a phrase) will soon discover - actually, probably already has - that she has to shell out another dollar to get her clothes dry. Karma's a bitch, and so am I.



ps - This is the excitement that makes up my days.

12 comments:

Devra said...

Oh man, I can utterly relate to this post. I remember doing laundry in our building when we lived in NYC. Nothing pissed my mom off more that having surfed floors for hours to get laundry done, only to have some moron decide they couldn't wait a couple of minutes.

super des said...

I feel like there would be some vandalization involved in NYC....

mar said...

haha! yeah, that'll show'em.
i'll usually fold some things if there's no basket there. the top of the machines are kinda skeevy, being in the basement, though. i'll fold towels & jeans/shirts, but underthings? no way!

super des said...

you are too nice, mar.
I just put in 'em in the basket, or failing that, come back in a few minutes to do my own laundry.

Belinda said...

Laundry Interlopers suck. And I'm totally telling your neighbors. ;-)

super des said...

You would! But good luck finding which one it was!

SUEB0B said...

You rock on, Des. That is fab.

JayMonster said...

Haven't you seen the commercial Cheetos new Orange Underground?

Some Cheetos placed into the dryer would have been a most excellent (apparently I am channeling Bill & Ted today) return prank. ;)

super des said...

I have seen that commercial. I had no cheetos though. I do have doritos, but I didn't have them with me.

Suzanne Reisman said...

Since I no longer have friends who live in NYC, I spent my Sat. night doing laundry while Husband was at a poker game last weekend. I timed the laundry so that I would get back down just as it stopped, but I had to wait a few minutes for the elevator. As I entered the laundry room, I noticed an older couple putting laundry into the machine that I just arrived to empty. My sheets were in a laundry cart next to the machine. My brain was not registering what was going on, so I stared at them dumbly for a minute. The woman apologized, and noted that she needed to start the laundry right away if she was to finish it before the room closed. She also noted that I was pretty much right on time to pick it up, and assured me that she had clean hands.

At first, I was pissed - like they couldn't wait for another minute to give me a chance to get my shit - but then I remembered that a significant portion of the people in my building are assholes who leave their shit in the machines for hours before bothering to mosey down and get it. So I sort of didn't blame her for panicking and taking my stuff out ASAP, but I was still annoyed. Husband later said that I had no right to be angry, as it is my responsibility to be there the second the machine stops and if not, people who need it have a right to remove it and repectfully place it elsewhere. Keep in mind when we once discovered, years ago, that some asshole took our wet laundry out of a dryer while it was still going with our money and put her shit in it, he threw her things out.

Suzanne said...

Wow, that was long. Laundry really stirs me.

super des said...

There are a lot worse things I could do. If it happens again, those people are dead.

And yeah, laundry really washes you up. ha ha ha.

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