Monday, April 28, 2008


As a Midwesterner, I've done a lot of bowling lately. Bowling is one of those things that people do here. In NYC I didn't bowl once. In CA, if I went, I would tell people about it and the standard response was "I haven't been bowling in years!" But here, it's a weekly thing, if not more. There are actually times when we can't bowl because the wait for a lane is too long. And there are bowling alleys every few blocks, unlike in my college town where there was one and you even had to be a student to use it.

So, since Jay and I are now bowlers (though he never really *stopped* being one) we decided we needed them there fancy shoes. Technically I already have some, but I wear them out on the street, so I can't wear them on the lanes. So, we pay our deposit to rent some shoes, and well, we keep them. I feel ok about doing this because we go to this same bowling alley just about every weekend, bringing lots of people that pay money, and we are using the shoes for their intended purpose. Because the shoes were, shall we say, ugly, and obvious rentals, we purchased some spray paint to do some decorating. Mine are now all white with silver & gold highlights and Jay's are black with the same.

So Saturday (apparently while this was happening in our apartment complex), we decide to use our "new" shoes. We start out the day at our normal alley without incident. Then later we are in a different part of town with a different friend, and we go to a different alley. Yes, that's bowling twice in one day. Cranky Old Lady #1 eyes us suspiciously when only one of the 3 of us needs shoe rentals. She demands to see Jay & my shoes, inspects them practically with a magnifying glass, and calls over Cranky Old Lady #2. COL#2 goes over the shoes with a fine-toothed comb and declares "these are house shoes, but they're not ours." We're all a bit confused, and Jay says "no, they're bowling shoes." COL#2 glares at him and continues talking to COL#1 about us. It's decided that we can use our own shoes this time, but next time we'll still have to pay the rental fee. Then a statement of the rules is pretty much shoved in our faces. It says that any shoes brought in are subject to inspection at any time, and customers still have to pay the rental fee.

Why would customers still have to pay the rental fee if they're bringing in their own shoes? Isn't that the point of having your own shoes? And you would think anyone that has their own shoes would be a repeat customer. However if you are a Cranky Old Lady and you are rude to your customers, they won't be. As I said, there are lots of other bowling alleys around. And this is beside the point, but what does it matter where we got our shoes?

But we were there to bowl, and even though there were lots of empty lanes, we were put right next to some other folks so he had to share a ball rack and a table with them. You know, no personal space. While we were drinking a pitcher of beer out of cute little juice glasses, we decided that because of the COLs and their rudeness to us, we were never coming back to that alley. Not to mention that I totally whacked my thigh with a bowling ball, which hurt like a monkeyfunker and I completely blamed it on the alley.

And that's how we got new juice glasses at our house.


mar said...

and despite your stereotyping of midwesterners, i haven't been bowling in years. (although s's little sis went bowling last night for her 21st b-day.)

super des said...

Maybe it's just Michiganders. Or maybe you just defy stereotype ;)

Jbeeky said...

I love it. I love that they served beer with cute juice glasses. I keep returning just to get a whole set.

super des said...

Well, we've got 3 already. How many is a proper set?

Anonymous said...

Wow, the stereotyping of Midwesterners, particularly Michiganders continues! I live in Michigan and I haven't gone bowling in years, the nearest bowling alley is at least 8 miles from my home (and I live in the Detroit area, not in a rural area), I'm a vegetarian and a non-smoker. I know very, very few smokers these days and I have no trouble eating vegetarian anywhere I go.

While I do not agree with the bowling alley's rules regarding the mandatory shoe rental fee, I agree even less with the fact that you "kept" your rental shoes and now you've "kept" the juice glasses. Because you seem a bit defensive, I'll blame it on your parents skipping the "thought shalt not steal" lesson during your formative years. I guess they also forgot the "two wrongs don't make a right" lesson too!

I have to give you credit, it takes a lot of nerve to admit to stealing shoes and glasses while complaining about silly rules. You have the option of taking your business elsewhere, but the bowling alleys do not have the option of reclaiming their stolen merchandise.

super des said...

I didn't say that *everyone* here goes bowling, just that more people do here than in NYC or CA, which in my experience is very true.

And if stealing shoes and juice glasses is the worst thing I ever do with my life, I consider that a pretty successful life. If it wasn't something I wanted to share with the world, I wouldn't have written it here on MY blog.

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