Thursday, April 03, 2008

at least it makes for a good story

I just got back from my second job interview of the week. It wasn't as exciting as my last one for 2 reasons: it's a place I don't really really want to work, and it was a group interview.

Group interviews are the worst. In theory they save time because there is a "screening" process, but isn't what the application / resume are for? But now I'm going to dish out all the dirt on this one, because that's what I do.

There were supposed to be 5 people interviewing. But the interviewer guy (IG) messed up and told 2 people different times than he scheduled them for. This is already off to a great start, due to the complete and total organization of IG. So there were 7 people. That's slightly less time than the already narrow window we each have to talk about ourselves. Speaking of talking about ourselves, the group was asked 2 questions. Two. How can you judge if someone is hirable based on 2 questions? Well maybe we would give appropriate answers in the time allotted to us. Sure, but IG spent 75% of the interview talking about himself. Not about the company or the position, himself.

Since I didn't care a lick for what any of the group said, I spent my time taking mental notes (which were transcribed onto paper the second I was out of there -- thank goodness for my tiny notebook). Of course, I was seated between the most interesting characters of the day.

To my left, a guy wearing a baseball cap, a hooded sweatshirt, and jeans. To an interview! I totally scrutinize how people are dressed during interviews. I of course dress for success and to impress (it rhymes so it must be true). So not only did this guy look like a total slob, he absolutely reeked of pot. Seriously, dude, don't smoke the marijuana immediately prior to meeting someone that could potentially pay you. Wait til after. It's like a half hour.
Also, this guy had the worst grammar and sentence structure I've ever heard. He said he'd lived in Germany his whole life, but he didn't have an accent. He was definitely not rocking the whole "Engrish as a second language" excuse.
Then to top it all off, he "mentioned" how he had just dropped like $1200 in the very store he was applying to because of their stellar customer service. Well then where are your $1200 clothes? Kissing fake ass impresses nobody, especially me (the important one here).

To my right was a disaster. She was probably at least 45 years old, with an orange tan, bleached blond hair, and disgustingly caked on makeup. Oh yeah, and she was wearing jeans too. She kept talking about all these stores she had managed which are now out of business. She gave at least 3 examples. I don't know if she was trying to name drop or what, but the fact that she managed them and now they are out of business should have been a red flag. Connection? Hmmm. And why are you looking for a part time, minimum wage job anyway? Don't you have kids to support?

I'm sure someone went home and immediately told the internets about the well dressed girl who kept bragging about being from NYC. Well of course that was me. I did mention NYC in both my answers to the questions (all 2 of them!) but that just so happens to be where my last job was. And at least I looked good doing it, dammit.

Those people IG is "interested in" can expect a call next week, or if he forgets, in 2 weeks. Yeah remember that whole organized thing he had going? Not so much. Honestly, I won't cry if I don't get one of the coveted callbacks. I do need a job, and I can only assume I am better than 2 of the others I was interviewed with, but I still have some damn standards, people.

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