why I didn't vote for Family Feud

I've already admitted that I watch entirely too much (read: any) daytime tv. One of the shows is Family Feud. Of course I play along in my head because who's gonna stop me. However, I am a broken robot, so my brain works quite a bit differently than the rest of the populace and the answers I come up with are rarely the same as the ones on the show.

Case in point: today there was a question What would a woman president want in the Oval Office? I figured this was kinda relevant since as of today a woman has won almost half of the states' Democratic caucuses (cauci?) so maybe there will be a woman president to test this theory. (Note: this is not an endorsement of any kind, just a generality.)

The feminist in me was a little outraged at the answers the surveyed people came up with. Some of the answers given by the contestants are as follows:

1. hairdresser
2. makeup chair
I think these two things would be terribly unnecessary because I'm pretty sure the president has a stylist, and hopefully she has more important things to do than sit at a chair *in the Oval Office* and make herself look pretty. (What she does in her own home or bedroom is her own business, but once she gets in that office, she's on my time.)

3. bathroom - um, yeah, but not because she's a woman. Because she's a person. An important person that may need to urinate.

4. telephone - I was under the impression that there are at least 2 phones in that office. Does she need an additional phone so she can gossip with her girlfriends? All women do is gab all day anyway. I guess as long as she doesn't use that *red* phone...

5. curtains - Also pretty sure that there are already curtains (and furniture!) in the Oval Office. However, Mars Attacks taught me that the first lady can redecorate. In this case, the first man (is that the right term?) would do it, and if he was worth anything he would choose Simpsons-style corn curtains.

Now here are the answers that were on the board, the top 5 answers given by a crowd of 100 people:

1. flowers - sure, that place probably stinks up high. All those brownnosers always coming and going, and then there were those rumors of ... shenanigans... in the office a few years ago.

2. mirror - Maybe the Oval Office is very small and she's trying to make it look better. Or maybe she's incredibly vain and can't stop checking herself out, to make sure the aforementioned stylist did a good job. That's reasonable because nobody will respect her as a world leader if her hair, makeup, and outfit aren't just so.

3. candles - the kind that smell like vanilla or cinnamon, because when male world leaders come in for important political discussions, they will be disappointed if the place doesn't smell like fresh cookies because what else would a woman be doing there besides cooking? Better yet, there should be a few ovens in the Oval Office so that she can whip up a pot roast, lasagna, and cookies for any meetings that may come up.

4. chocolates - of course we wouldn't want the president to make any rash decisions based on PMS, which we all know is how women do everything. Chocolate will help this.

and lastly,
5. a man
Excuse me? Of course! She'd be so overwhelmed by all the 'sponsibilities and numbers and stuff that she would need a big strong man around to make all the decisions for her. And also to kill spiders.



I really need more to do during the day.