Wednesday, February 13, 2008

bridesmaid exchange

My sister is getting married in October, and she's asked me to be a bridesmaid. Maybe it's because she wanted to share her special day with her only sister. Or, maybe it's because she and her fiance are having 5 attendants each and she needed someone to fill the slots. I like to think it's a combination of both.

This will be the 3rd time I've been a bridesmaid in my life (though once I was Maid of Honor, so that counts for at least double) and it got me to thinking. Are people giving me this honor because I remain one of their unmarried friends? And, are they hoping that I will reciprocate when (if?) I get married? Tradition dictates that a bridesmaid be an unmarried woman*, but I think you can include your married "sisters" if you were in their wedding first.

If this is the case, then I'm set. I don't want a huge wedding party, so I can use my three girls. But this precludes any friends I want to include that have not yet included me, or that I want to include even if I wasn't in theirs (there are some people I met post-marriage, you know). However, I would assume this applies to both sides of the wedding party. This creates more complications, as I'm sure my future fiance will have been a groomsman at some point in his life as well. Then we have to decide how to match up our attendants, especially the Best Man / Maid of Honor, rather than use entirely free choice.

So, sorry news to everyone that's included me (or will possibly) include me in your wedding party: I am not guaranteeing that you will be included in mine. If I'm popular enough, there is just no way I can reciprocate accordingly. However, I *can* guarantee that you will at least get an invite. After all, friends for life, right?

Wow, that made me sound extremely petty. Luckily, I am not planning a wedding anytime soon, so nyah.




* Did you know that the tradition of having wedding attendants has 2 origins? The bridesmaids are supposed to look like the bride in order to distract demons** from possessing the bride. (Apparently demons are easily confused.) Also, attendants on each side were supposed to aid in the eloping of the couple.
Maybe these can be combined by replacing "demons" with "parents." It makes sense when you think about it.


** Also, being carried over the threshold is to prevent demons from possessing the bride, as apparently they enter via the feet. I don't know why demons are always going after these chicks. Maybe it's the last chance to grab a pure virgin? (ha ha ha, oh modern times)

10 comments:

viciousrumours said...

It actually depends on whose tradition you're talking about. In some cultures, attendants had other functions, in many cases it was to insure that the bride didn't off herself before the wedding. The tradition of carrying the bride over the threshold also has multiple origins, the first one I ever heard about was dating back to Greek times when brides were often the spoils of war and so often had to be forced into the house...hence they were carried in slung over the shoulder of the conquering soldier.

Okay, wow...I'm like a walking Trivial Pursuit game. When you get on that game show, make sure you use me as your "phone shout out", huh? *laughs*

super des said...

Yes!
You use me as yours too.
And someday, we will play Trivial Pursuit together, and it will be awesome.

Count Mockula said...

I have never been a bridesmaid, ever. Maybe I looked to slatternly to be passed off as a "maid."

Count Mockula said...

Ack! Too-with-two-Os slatternly! I know the difference, I swear!

super des said...

Maybe you were too much of a grammar nazi! ha ha ha!

And my choice isn't made yet... stay on my good side! :D

Suzanne said...

I've been a bridesmaid four times, and I was already married.

super des said...

Well we all know that you're special.

Suzanne said...

Nah, you all know that I am a sucker...

Suzanne said...

OK, that was not a fair comment, as I had a very good time being a bridesmaid at all the weddings, even the one that I thought would be awful, but totally wasn't.

super des said...

I dunno... you were pretty unhappy in the time leading up to that wedding.

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