Monday, November 05, 2007

paper cutting my heart

Papercuts are drawn to me. Somewhere out there, there is a being - I won't say a god, because what all-powerful deity would concentrate all his or her attention on little ol' me - a gremlin, say, that exists solely to ensure the bleeding of my fingers.

At my old job we had these heavy-duty envelopes to hold metal plates and other crap. They cut me like 3 times a week. I had a box of bandaids in my desk because of it. And they weren't little girly cuts either, they were big gory manly cuts that made me cry a little and get blood everywhere (hence the bandaids). It's amazing I didn't die from infection, what with all the people's hands those envelopes passed through and the ink that was all over them.

At my current job (soon to be my old job!) I get papercuts too. From books. That's right, those cute little picture books that children will remember for years like Where the Wild Things Are, Caps for Sale, and And Tango Makes Three. They all give me a slice in my finger. This happened yesterday while I was helping a customer, and I actually had to restrain myself from yelling FUCK. Because I could feel the book pages slicing through my skin, not separating the sides so the blood takes a little bit to start flowing. But then I could feel the air going through the place where the skin was separated, and I got that tiny sick feeling that comes with knowing you have been defeated by a shiny piece of paper.

So now my finger is wraped in a bandaid. Sadly it's like this about half the time. The bandaid was too big to satisfactorily keep my little finger free from infection, so it is held on by scotch tape.

17 comments:

mdog said...

i am sitting here picturing you not yelling FUCK and willing your head to not explode from the sheer pressure of not yelling FUCK.

why am i sure i will get a paper cut this afternoon now?

super des said...

That's about what happened... I had to walk away from the customer in the middle of a sentence.

jessabean said...

Yeah, don't pass the paper-cutting bug on to me, either! I don't need any more bad luck. :(

I'm not sure I would have had your self restraint, though. Sometimes FUCK can just not be contained...

super des said...

I don't cuss that often, so it's easier for me to restrain than it is for other people.
:)

mar said...

i didn't even read this until i got back from the grocery store, but i got a cardboard cut from a box. urgh!

flutter said...

That shit happens to me about 800 times a day. So, you know what I use? super glue.

super des said...

Ew mar, I hate cardboard cuts. I'm sorry.

flutter, I totally should: I get superglue on my hands anyways... why not put it to use?
Genius.

SUEB0B said...

I used to buy and sell paper for a living. And I got paper cuts. I would be like "Paper, I am your friend," but paper betrayed me over and over. Cardboard, too.

super des said...

Paper and cardboard are not my friends. I used to be cool with cardboard, but when paper was gone cardboard would always start something.

mdog said...

also: manila folder cuts are a fate worse than death. OW.

super des said...

Yeah I've had those too. They are also stupid.

Suzanne said...

Funny that you mention this, as last night I showed Husband a particularly deep papercut I got from my book at book club on Sunday. He insisted that it be covered with a bandaid and neosporin at all times. I said that injuries need to breathe at night, but finally gave in to his demands about bandages when I realized that people at wound care centers have bandages on them.

And one of my most hated jobs was in the admissions office at my grad program. I had to file incoming apps, and the papercuts were horrific.

super des said...

Alright, I'm getting a consensus here.... something must be done!

Cherann said...

I know this will make people think you're OCD but, wear gloves to work. A lot of the library workers wear them when they shelve books.

Frazzled Mom said...

Ouch! I literally cringed reading your post!

mar said...

i think my cut is infected. :( it's on my index finger on the middle knuckle, palm-side. ouch!

super des said...

CHerann - luckily I only have 2 more days of working there.

FM - that was the plan :)

mar - neosporin, darling.

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