coffee coffee bo boffee

I've officially made the switch from cold coffee to hot coffee. Something about the freezing mornings... just can't put my finger on it.

I don't have a regular coffee maker. I'm unconventional like that. I have a French Press, which is unfortunate because you have to be smarter than the coffee in order to drink it. Shut up, I am smarter than it, only because it's a liquid. If it was a gas, gas coffee, I would have no chance in a trivia contest against it. But as it is, it's a bit of a struggle. There are many steps involved which can easily be overlooked on a cold tired morning.

Here's what should be done:
1) Take everything out of their nicely stowed places in the cupboard, because I'm neat like that.
2) Put some water on to boil.
3) Pour the right amount of beans into the grinder, and grind them at the correct coarseness.
4) pour the grounds into the press, followed by the hot water.
5) Press the coffee just a little bit, and wait a few minutes.
6) Push the press thingy all the way down and pour your coffee into your favorite genetics-themed mug that your biology teacher gave you in high school for being awesome.
7) add chocolate soy milk and enjoy.

Here are some of the many things that I have done wrong:
- pour hot water in the coffee grinder.
- pour unground beans into the press.
- make the coffee too strong, so I become Captain ADHD, commander of the US naval forces.
- make the coffee too weak, so I am left drinking water and brown.
- pour orange juice in instead of soy milk. OK, that one wasn't me, it was C's grandma, but it was so cute when she did it and then said "well, shoot."
- any one of a number of other things that impede and/or delay my coffee enjoyment.

And, this morning with my weak coffee in tow, I managed to spill it all over my leg, leaving a nice brown water stain on my pretty silver pajamas. That's fine, it matches the red nail polish I spilled on my other leg a few days ago. And also? The coffee that I put so much effort into making hot?

It's cold now.