Wednesday, August 22, 2007

always a bridesmaid

I'm sorry, but I just can't hear about any more people getting engaged. I know I should be happy for them because they are my friends (read: I do not wish them any specific harm), but my selfishness comes out and I stamp my foot and say "I wanna get married too!"

I was able to let the last one slide because the bride is my best friend and I was Maid of Honor, so I kinda got married anyway. That means since I got to hold flowers and wear a pretty dress and stand up on the altar and help with the planning and stuff, it was kinda like my wedding. But it wasn't my wedding. I wasn't the focus. (though someone did ask if I was the bride's sister. WTF are you doing here if you don't know that the bride has no sister?) I don't have someone that has promised to spend the rest of his (or her - I'm still open to that) life with me.

So I got through that engagement / wedding. But now I am being told (by Craig of all people!) of all these other people who have just gotten engaged. Oh, you've been together 2 years? Neat. I've beaten you 5 times over. But he tells me all the details of the proposal and any plans that have surfaced, and you know what? I just can't take it anymore. I don't want to hear it.

So if you're reading this and you recently got engaged, please don't tell me about it. In theory, I am so excited for you, but in reality it just makes me frown.

18 comments:

MsLittlePea said...

Ouch! Is it because you want to get married? Or is it because you want to have a wedding? What are you guys waiting for? Or is it just bad timing?

super des said...

Well I want both. As for what we are waiting for, well that's the part I don't understand.

Count Mockula said...

Do you suppose C is just waiting until he's graduated and is making big lawyer money? Lots of guys feel like they have to be able to support the family and be the man of the house before they make any committments. 98% feminist girlfriend or not....

super des said...

ha ha ha. I can tell where you came from before reading this.
No, I don't think it's that. I don't really know what it is.

mar said...

y'all are still pretty young. maybe it's that. but it's not my place to make guesses. you'd know him better than anyone being together that long. it's kindof a big, scary change psychologically, even if it wouldn't be physically/location-wise.
i somewhat understand with all the weddings i've been invited to in the past year/upcoming year.

super des said...

He keeps bringing up "having life together by 30." Only a coupla more years...
And everyone else lately is our age or younger, so I can't help but compare.

mar said...

ps~i just wanna elope.
(not that that was an offer, des. sorry.)

super des said...

aw mar, you get my hopes all up.

mdog said...

i haven't read alllllll your posts, so i was never sure if you were a Why Bother With Marriage people. [i see now, clearly you are not]. have you both discussed this little issue? i mean you've discussed... cars... ahem.

i want to elope as well. unfortunately i do not want to live in a big city and you most likely do not want to live in rurality. le sigh.

flutter said...

You're practically married as it is. You already have a life together already.

so the need to wait is.....?

Alex Elliot said...

What does Craig say about this? Has he seen this post?

super des said...

We had a long emotional talk about it and... I still don't know what the issue is. I think I found someone who is scared of a ring and a piece of paper, even if they don't change his life.

Suzanne said...

Hmmm... that is a horrible position to be in, especially since you are essentially life-partners anyway. Some people just freak out at all the expectations that come with marriage, even if they already more or less meet them. You can always remind him that you can't be compelled to testify against him if you are married.

super des said...

ah, lawyer speak. That's the key.

mdog said...

i forgot to mention that i also detest hearing about engagements. bleh.

oh and don't forget about possible tax breaks. [testifying and taxes... your readers are sooooo romantic].

super des said...

ha ha ha.
I pointed out these non-romantic things to C and he just said "I'm aware of the benefits."

Laura said...

We weren't together for 10 years like you.. but we were the last people in our cluster to get married.
Yep.. it gets damn old after awhile.
The breaking point for us was when he was looking at houses and he needed a co-signer. I finally said enough was enough. You want me for a mortgage.. you need to make the commitment bucko.
It took him a little while, but he finally came around.

super des said...

ha ha ha.
Unfortunately we're not buying a house, but I've tried all sorts of tactics like that. I need to be on his insurance, etc.

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