nominee for the World's Worst Bathroom Award.

Yesterday I discovered the World's Worst (movie theater) Bathroom when we went to see Knocked Up, which is very funny and has less infantile jokes than the 40-Year Old Virgin and almost the entire cast of Freaks & Geeks is in it. Anyway, the bathroom.

There was no line, which is a plus. But the perks ended there. It smelled like a rotten outhouse in the middle of desert August. About half of the stalls had several inches of water (?) both covering the floor AND the toilet seat. Some were massively clogged, and all the details could be taken into account during the quick furtive glance that was allowed before rushing out again. Some had no toilet paper. Some had no locks on the doors.

There was actually a little band of us girls roaming the stalls and reporting back. We helped each other out, because we all knew that we were in this together, strangers as we were. I finally found one that had a (relatively) dry floor, essential tp and lock, and looked as though it would flush. I did have to do some quick wiping down of the toilet seat, but by that time I was ready to pee in my pants, so I took it as a sign that this was the best I was going to get.

Then of course the sinks. Most had no soap, so there was another band of girls with wet hands trying every soap dispenser. Then the movie theater decided that paper towels are wasteful so they only had the air dryers. Not a paper towel dispenser to be seen. And how did the air dryers work? Very poorly. It took me almost as long to (mostly) dry my hands as it did to watch the movie.

Craig's report on the men's bathroom was much better, though the sink situation was the same. That's either because men's bathroom are always a bit of squalor, or because it was smaller so there was less to clean. I know public bathrooms are never perfect, but generally movie theaters are better than say, gas stations along the highway with no attendant and no plumbing.