warning, girl stuff (quite literally)

Thanks to Suzanne and her post about the time she asked her mom where babies come from (and yes, she used those words), my writer's block has temporarily disappeared.

I'm going to tell you about getting my period the first time.

I'd seen all the videos in sex ed. One was hosted by the woman who was once the little girl who played Little Orphan Annie in that movie.... "Annie." She introduced herself Troy McClure-style by saying "You might remember me as the girl who played Little Orphan Annie." I laughed and laughed even then as I thought, "well at least she's getting work, but this?!?"

I even knew a coupla girls in 6th grade that had started already. All of us other girls were always surrounding them, assaulting them with questions and I'm sure, embarrassing them even more for being "early bloomers."

When it came around time in 7th grade that I thought mine should start soon, I was getting anxious. At any sign of wetness (real or imagined) I would run to the bathroom, a little hopeful, but also a little relieved that it was nothing. My worst fear was to start at school, without any clue as to what to do, bleeding all over the place so everyone could see. I was sure it would ruin my life - not from the embarrassment, but because I'd of course have to go home and "fix it" and I would miss classes. For some reason I loved 7th grade, and didn't think of carrying a pad or something with me. I also didn't want a "Carrie" moment, though I would love to use my powers of mental thinking to heap revenge on John Travolta.

But I digress.

I was hoping and praying and wishing and determining that I not start my period at school. Well one night, my wish came true. In the shower. The best possible place for a thing like that to happen. I was giddy as I put the pad on my clean (!) underwear and went downstairs to inform my mom that I now had to be included in all feminine hygiene purchases.

Mom was watching tv, and didn't look up until I said "So. I'm a woman now." She jumped up and said "What do you mean!" I think she thought I was having sex at 13 years old, though to this day she denies reacting like that. I had to spell it out for her, and then she took me to the hall closet where the feminine products were kept. She showed me how to take the tape off the pad and stick it to my underwear, as I had already done a few minutes before, when I got out of the shower. I told her I was an old pro. What about tampons? We didn't have any. I guess my mom didn't like them, and if my sister used them she kept them in her own room.

So I went on my merry way, feeling like I had an exciting secret. I think it took one month for me to realize I hated getting my period and didn't want to be stuck with it for the next 40 years or so. I don't think I was getting sick yet. That would have been too much for this fragile 13 year old to handle. Later, when I was in high school and college, I did start getting sick when I menstruated, so that made me hate it even more. Enter Depo-Provera shots. Besides having to withstand a shot every 3 months (which was actually quite ok after the first time because Carmen, the Nurse Practitioner for Dr. K was awe-diddly-dawsome), I no longer got my period. Sweet. I stopped buying tampons (as I had clearly moved on from pads at this point) and had a great time. I felt like I was in a Summer's Eve commercial, frolicking on the beach.

Of course, I had to stop taking the shot for many reasons. But that's more detail than you will want to know, mostly because it's fairly recent and I don't feel like divulging that info quite yet.
But sharing the beginnings of my journey into womanhood? No sweat.