more Rarg work stuff

Why is it that in the corporate world, people like CEOs, Presidents, and Upper Management guys have no concept of how things work in the real world?

Today I have instructions from Company President to do stupid boring Excel and Word stuff. I know how to use both of these programs, but they are not in my job description and I don't know everything about them. Of course the thing I have to do today has nothing to do with my current job duties, but I don't mind doing it because it's relatively time consuming. I also get a little satisfaction when New Boss asks me to do something (her job) and I say "I can't - President needs this done first priority."

Which brings me to my point. I have to have this done so it can go out in today's mail. The mail comes at like noon. I was given instructions at 9am. And like I said, this is a time consuming thing. Yet they all seem to think that I have computer magic that will do everything they want, instantly. While I was working on it, President came to check progress. He saw that I was separating certain columns into groups.

Why are you doing that?
It has to be formatted like this, or the merge won't work.
No, it can be the way it was.
No according to Microsoft! If you want me to do this, I need to be able to do it correctly or there's no point in wasting my time.

I can speak that way to President because even though he lives on his on boss-cloud, he also realizes that I'm right, and there's a reason he asked me to do something he didn't know how to do.

As for New Boss, she and I are no longer on speaking terms. I can't take her idiocy any more. Yesterday we had this conversation:

I need you to look up a vendor called "Yellow Assistance."
Yellow Assistance? I've never heard of that. (I look it up) No, we don't have any vendors by that name, or with either of those words in their name.
They may also go by "Payment Processing Center."
No they don't. That is just the address on the envelope they give you. Lots of companies have that.
Well they say we have an open invoice with them.
Did you talk to somebody? Because I'm sure you can get even an invoice number or some sort of clarification.

At this point I walked away because I was already in the middle of doing something else that was more important than looking up a made up name. Did I mention that when I told her I would be missing 2 days of work (my bday and the day after) she said "I don't think it's a good time." Really, because the busiest time of the month is the end. As the 14th & 15th are in the middle of a slow month, there is actually no reason why I shouldn't be able to go. The time is unpaid, so it's actually costing me money to go. I am willing to take that risk and it is no skin off their backs. She just doesn't want me to go because she doesn't want to do her job.

Well tough titties. July 25 can not come soon enough.