I was late to work, but I had a good reason

I may have saved a life. I may have damned him to death. I may have not even had an impact.

A man collapsed on the crowded J train right before it pulled into the station. Right next to me. He fell onto people. He was not answering questions of "Are you alright." He was given a seat but waved off the people trying to help him, not able to talk. However, his wave was weak and feeble and so went unheeded. The whole car watched the event as several people rubbed his back, (took his pulse) and generally acted very concerned. When the train stopped at Essex street, which is my stop anyway, I asked the lady "in charge" if I should tell a conductor. She looked at me like I was crazy but said to do it.

The problem with the crowded J train is that it's crowded. Lots of people getting on & off in the short time the train is stopped. I pushed my way through the crowds to get to the conductor's window, 2 cars down, but the train pulled away before I had a chance to tell about the man in ill health. So I walked down the stairs to catch my next train. I saw a police officer standing on the platform. I was going to run to him and tell him about the man, but then my F train pulled up. I tried running, but the cop was too far off. I was late to work already so I got on the F.

I felt awful that I hadn't done my job. What if that guy was having a serious medical emergency and could have been saved if I'd gotten to the conductor in time? On exiting the train at York street, I saw the normal group of policemen. I resolved to tell them about the man on the J, if only to make myself feel better, like I had done something to help. I got to them and laid out my story, to one officer at first but then they all perked up so by the end I was talking to 5. They asked for details and descriptions and then said "thanks for letting us know."

I didn't stick around to see if they called anyone. I can't make them. But I did feel a little more relieved that I had done what I could. Maybe that guy just suffered a moment of lightheadedness. Maybe he was intoxicated and was able to keep his composure only up to that point (I don't really think that was the case though). Maybe he was having a heart attack, though he didn't fit the tv stereotype of grabbing his chest. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe it was something. I may never know, but I can live with the fact that I didn't ignore him, and neither did several other people on their way to work this morning.