Eternal Sunshine of the 4th Grade Mind

What happened to me when I was 9 years old?

Recently a friend showed me a school picture from back when I was still a sweet little girl. When I saw it, I couldn’t remember when it was taken. I knew it wasn’t 3^rd grade because I wasn’t wearing my unicorn & heart dress. I thought it must be 5^th grade, even though I looked a little young. No, it was revealed to be fourth grade. That possibility never even occurred to me.

Then I saw the entire class picture. I remembered everyone in the class, because when you live in a small town you remember everyone from kindergarten through high school (even though I moved before high school). I had absolutely no recollection of my teacher. Her face and her name both drew complete blanks, even though they were right there in front of me. I thought about it harder, and I couldn’t remember anything from my 9^th year of life, my 4^th year of school.

While I was in CA I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. So of course the notion is in my head that I had memories of 4^th grade erased. But why? And when did I do this? What horrible thing happened to me? I was too young for boyfriends. Everyone I knew then, including both my parents, was still alive, though my parents were divorced by then. Maybe that’s when my mom married my enemy – I mean my stepdad. But he was around until college when he died. And I vaguely remember their wedding. It was in Sequoia Park and my brother was there and my mom’s friend Sarah performed the ceremony. So that can’t be the Thing.

The Thing must have been school related. Did I get my first F? Then why wouldn’t I erase all those calculus classes in college? Did I see someone die or something? I want answers! And why didn’t Eric get the memo to not remind me of fourth grade? What’s the dillio? So now all I can do is wonder, and never get any answers. Ignorance is bliss, as they say. I am no longer in bliss about 4^th grade, even though I am still ignorant of why.

ps - here's the picture of me & my buddy. (I can't edit it because I'm at work.)