Every so often at work, I get an email like this.
Harold is no longer with The Company.
And that's it. "Harold" is never spoken of again.
It makes me a little upset - not because I like my coworkers, but because it is like a government conspiracy to eliminate troublemakers. (Notice how "The Company" is capitalized.) I don't even work for the government. Nor do I know what "Harold" did to make him Disappear, and if I ask someone then I get the same blank stare or the topic is immediately changed.
The person's desk stays empty for a little while, and then someone new is brought in. It is never mentioned that they are replacing someone, and comparisons are never made. Soon, we forget that "Harold" ever existed. If there were pictures, I have a sneaking suspicion that they would be altered so as not to show any evidence.
I feel like I'm in a Jodie Foster / Tom Cruise suspense flick. (I swear one or both of them has made this movie.) However, since I am neither of these people and I don't have a script, I have to just accept it when someone Disappears and not even their friends talk about it. Let's just hope I can make it without Disappearing for 3 more months...
ps - For those of you that are wondering, no, there has not been an email about R yet. Frankly, I don't think she'll even get an email. She's not worth it.
Posts
The Future of Orion
1 day ago
16 comments:
That always struck me as rather KGB-like, too. Sort of like "Human Resources"....
I could make a very long comment on the topic but will refrain. LOL
Peace,
~Chani
Hi Chani!
Feel free to make as long a comment as you want! Everybody gets to rant here!
Maybe Harold is under the witness protection program....
If it was just him, then maybe. But there have been several like this.
The only time someone got fired at my old job, they called everyone from our dept to a big meeting. Then our boss got up it was just like a freaking press release. All he said was 'Aamar will no longer be working for us. No questions.' It was creepy.
How do they expect no questions after that?
I love how the sense of self-importance that goes along with those emails. Someone obviously feels that "The Company" is important enough for everyone to care that Harold is no longer there. Perhaps if they had personalized it a bit more....Who was Harold? What did Harold do? Was Harold important? Did Harold save starving children? Help injured puppies? Why should we care that Harold is gone? What's our motivation?
I also love the name Harold...very 1955. I hope he has a wife named Maude at home...that would make my day.
ha ha ha. All good points. As it is, the news that Harold is no longer with The Company doesn't affect me at all, other than I get to make fun of it!
Oh wow. See, I thought you were capitalizing "The Company" to disguise the actual (and legitimately capitalized) name of your company. Like I do with Famous Horticulturalist High. But that's the actual e-mail? That's creepy as shit.
Cut & pasted. Harold is a real guy. "The Company" is also real.
My cousin had the same experience when she actually left her company. I guess they sent the email out before she had finished her last day. So yesterday I tried to post some comments and your's and Suzanne's blog and f-ing blogger wouldn't let me do it.
We get the same thing. Except they say "Harold is leaving to pursue other opportunities." Someone always adds as they read it "Like collecting unemployment."
That is spooky! And a kind of delicious!
In my experience, the people departing from my "company" which is an academic department, are usually accompanied by a lot more fanfare and/or therapy sessions and/or litigation.
Also delicious and disturbing, but much less subtle.
TS
AE - if they sent my email out while I was still there, I think I would just leave then.
SB - Ours makes it sound like there are no other opportunities. Harold blew it forever.
TS - I've only seen one "going away" party, for the person I replaced, who was retiring. Not even Old Boss, who had been there 10 years, got one.
Once, my Brilliant Nonprofit Former Employer fired someone and asked him to say on two more weeks to train his replacement, who they had already hired behind his back before they fired him.
I hope he didn't do it. If you fire someone, you have to live with the fact that there will be no training.
Post a Comment