10 years ago today

On April 18, 1997, my friends Not 4 Hire were playing a free punk show at Fresno State. I was almost 16, and felt that I should have a boyfriend. I didn't have any prospects, so I targeted in on a good friend of mine, Gabe. I asked Gabe if he wanted to go to the free show with me. "That sounds fun, but I'm seeing my friend Craig tonight, so I'll have to see if he wants to go."In my head I thought maybe I'd hit on him or something, so maybe this friend would be dampening my "style" (I had no style whatsoever).

At the show, my group of friends and I were lounging around before the band played. Someone walked up and told me that Gabe had just arrived. Well, better start the hitting on, which I was ambivalent about because I wasn't really interested in Gabe in that way. When I saw him, his friend was with him, and his friend was cute. We were introduced and cracked a few sarcastic jokes. We went back to our chairs, Gabe and Craig in tow, and found that for some reason we were one chair short. At one point because of this, I ended up sitting on Gabe's knee - very clearly a non sexual act. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but Craig took note of this instance.

Later in the night, I ended up in my own chair. However, when I came back from the bathroom, this new guy "Craig" had stolen it. So I did what any respectable des would do; I sat on his lap. Conversation kept up throughout the night, and at one point (still sitting on his lap) I showed him the remnant so my "tan line" which involved showing Craig more of my meager cleavage than I would normally do. But he didn't seem to mind. When it was time to go home, we all said our goodbyes and Craig and I said "it was nice meeting you." Very polite.

The following Monday at school, I approached Gabe and told him that I liked his friend. "I noticed! You guys were together all night and you were sitting on his lap! You know, he's coming over to my house today after school. You're welcome to join us." Of course I wanted to join them. Only problem was that Gabe didn't have a 6th period class, so he would be leaving before me. My only option was to ditch my own 6th period, which happened to be my favorite class, Drama. But I felt I needed to take this risk.

Gabe and I hung around his house for a little while before we heard a car drive up. In those days, none of us had cars or even licenses, so Craig's mom had dropped him off. When Gabe went to answer the door, I hung back a little bit. When Craig was fully in the house, I nervously pranced out and said "Hi! Remember me?" I had no doubt that he remembered me (one of my super powers is that people don't easily forget me) but I was very worried that he wouldn't be so glad to see me. But he seemed fine with it. The three of us took a walk and Craig wove a fascinating tale about how he invented a magic gate. I pretended to believe him. We were both clearly trying to impress each other. Gabe had some sense and butted out.

Again the time came for us to all go home. I hadn't planned as far as getting home from Gabe's house since it was walking distance from the school. My mom was still at work, and though my stepdad was home, neither he nor I wanted him to come pick me up. Craig offered me a ride home, providing that his mom was okay with it. When she arrived to pick him up, I chatted with Gabe while Craig asked if I could get a lift. I don't know how much cajoling was involved, but she agreed and took me the short distance to my house.

During the week at school, I continually chatted with Gabe and of course the subject of Craig came up. I told Gabe to give him my phone number, which I hastily wrote down on a gum wrapper. I didn't ask about it again.

That Friday, April 25, I made plans to go with Gabe & Craig to their guitar lessons. We would hang out at Gabe's for a bit, then hop on a bus and head downtown. Their lessons were one after the other, so I could keep company with whichever boy was not currently being taught guitar and then we would find something else to do afterwards.

I headed to Gabe's after school, again ditching my Drama class. Craig showed up and we all decided to watch "The Toxic Avenger" before the guitar lessons. During the movie, Craig and I were on one couch while Gabe was on another. Craig and I kept skootching closer together while Gabe took more and more frequent trips out of the room. During one these excursions, the following conversation took place:

me: So... do you have a girlfriend? (Silly question, as he had been doing an awful lot of flirting.)
Craig: no.
me: Because, I'd be happy to fill that position if there was a need (ramble ramble).
Craig: That sounds great.

At this point Gabe came back in the room and announced that it was time to head out. While on the bus, Gabe sparks his memory and takes something out of his pocket to give to Craig. It was the gum wrapper with my phone number on it. I was mortified. No tact at all - you don't give a girl's phone number to her crush while she's there! Craig looked confused, and I mumbles something about my phone number. He looked at it and put it in his pocket. (I found out later that since Gabe had not mentioned anything about it, Craig just assumed it was trash and would have thrown it away had I not said something.)

Our day out together was a lot of fun, and there was no awkwardness on anyone' s part. The following weekend I was on the phone with a girlfriend of mine, telling her about this guy I met and recanting the above events. The caller waiting beeped. I flipped over and it was Craig. I screamed and dropped the phone and told him to hold on while I told my friend on the other line to vamoose. I flipped back and said "its him, its him, itshimitshimitshimitshim" and my friend told me to stop talking to her and get on that other line. (And to call her later with the details.) I regained my composure (somewhat) and played it cool while Craig asked me if I wanted to go bowling. Yes. Yes I did.

So we went bowling. It was our first time together without Gabe, and it showed that we got along beautifully. At one point, he took his turn and I got up to take mine, but I stopped him on the way and said "Are we... together?" And he said yes, in an "of course" kind of tone, and gave me a big hug. That was my favorite hug ever. I had a boyfriend, and I loved him.

After we finished bowling, we meandered down the street. We got a happy meal and Craig gave me his toy, a beanie baby lizard. Then we sat down on a corner and waited for our ride, his mom. During the wait, we somehow started smooching. There was no tongue or open mouthed-ness involved; just sweet little pecks on closed lips. It was a wonderful way to pass the time, and his mom arrived too soon.

Lucky for us, there would be plenty of time for future smooching. We saw each other all the time. He got to go to Vegas with me for my cousin's wedding on my 16th bday (it was the bday fact that clenched it and convinced my parents it was ok). We went through driver's ed together and our licenses our one number apart. We survived 2 years of living in different towns when I moved away to college in Davis. We still saw each other, but not as often. Until he moved up to Davis with me. And we've been together ever since.

Awww.....


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<------------ This is not quite 10 years old, but it's the oldest picture we have with us. (All the rest are at Craig's parents' in CA.)

Here we are at 5 years. We drove up from Davis to Shasta county, thus beginning the anniversary trip phase.
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And, here we are last weekend, 10 years after first laying eyes on each other.