ode to alone

After living with someone for several years, you come to depend on them. You miss them when they are gone, but you notice so much more.

The Boyfriend left Friday morning. Friday night was ok. I watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and ate popcorn. Top Ramen was my dinner. I had the bed to myself (plus the cat). I've often spent the evening alone, as sometimes he doesn't return til after I'm asleep.

Little bit harder when I woke up Saturday and he wasn't there. But I spent the day with Suzanne and had fun and bought a new wallet and met lots of new people. Came home and went to bed, too cold to notice I was still alone.

Today is going to be the hardest day. It's a pajama day, and though pj-days aren't meant for socializing, it's nice to have someone to talk to and to hug, and to do a funny dance for me. I'll do my normal cleaning, watch a movie (or several) and go to bed cold and alone again tonight.

Monday most of the day will be spent at work, then a shopping trip. Maybe another movie when I come home. Tuesday is Halloween. Second best holiday of the year (behind Flag Day). Work, then with Suzanne to watch the parade. She's a good friend to keep me from being lonely.
Wednesday, work again. Then home to pack. Make sure everything is the way it needs to be for my 4 day trip. Thursday, work til noon, come home and grab my stuff. Stop at Dunkin Donuts for lunch (eaten en route) and then long ride to the airport. Bringing many books because I am unsure of my status getting from the Oakland airport to the soon-to-be-newlyweds' home in Santa Rosa.
Friday, see the Boyfriend once again, after a week. Catch up with the couple in between wedding preps. Saturday, the wedding. Fun to be had by all. Definitely no longer alone. Sunday, I get to see Megan. Hang out with her all day until she drives us to the airport. Monday, early. Arrive in NY. The Boyfriend is going to try to go to school that day. I am not trying to go to work. Resume life as normal, together in our home once again.

It's not going to be a lonely week. Mostly just today. But it shows that it's very hard to be alone after being accustomed to The Boyfriend always around.

Of course, the situation will be reversed when I go next year for a week for my friend's wedding prep. But he can cook for himself, unlike me.