switch to decaf

Why would you answer the phone like this?

Thank you for calling Long Business Name, the quality professionals. This is Assistant, assistant to Manager. How may I direct your call?

Manager please.

Thank you. It would be my pleasure to transfer you.

What should have taken 2 seconds took 2 minutes instead. By the time he was done greeting me, I had forgotten why I called. He didn't even say it like this:
ThankyouforcallingBusinessNamethequalityprofessionalsThisisAssistantassistanttoManagerHowmayIdirectyourcall?

He spaced every word out and I could hear that Assistant really was only too happy to take me call. And this isn't a freak occurrance; every time I call this company they answer the phone like this, and it's a different person every time. I don't know what they are feeding their assistants, but they need to stop. And I want my 2 minutes back.