office space

I can identify with enough of the movie "Office Space" that it makes me both laugh and cry; laugh because the movie is hilarioius, and cry because my life is too much like that for me to be comfortable.

Is it wrong that I use my time at work to look for other jobs? I know I complain about my job a lot, but it takes up a large portion of my time (both the job and the complaining).

I come in every day and sit at my desk, and immediately I am 4 degrees less happy. I hate that I can see outside, but can't feel it. It is never the perfect temperature inside the office. There is either an A/C or a heater on at all times, so the climate is the complete opposite of outside and, thus, what you are dressed for. If it is hot outside, you still need to bring a sweater to work because of the A/C. Conversely, if it is cold outside, you'd better wear a sleeveless shirt under your big warm jacket.

As you read this, I sit in my department by myself, not working. When people come back, I will pretend to do work, but right now there is no need. The work is always boring, but when I don't actually have any work to do I end up pondering my situation, as I am now.

I know I am destined for greatness. It may be a belief held only by the super-egocentric or the slighty insane, but nonetheless I am waiting to be discovered. I can be discovered for any one of a number of things: someone may see me walking down the street and decide to put me in a movie. Someone may read my countless blogs and decide I need to work for the newspaper. Someone may hear me sing karoke and make me the new karoke DJ. Anything. Anything would be better than this.

Yes, it is a steady source of income, but I can't even pay all my bills. What is the point of going to a job I hate, whether I feel like leaving the house or not, so that I still can't get my bills paid?

This is not for me. I want to be able do my work while sitting at home, or outside, or in a cafe, depending on the weather and my mood. I want to work by myself so I don't have to deal with the retarded people in society, always making the same jokes and using the same phrases and never learning anything new. They are all stuck in their rut, and I will not be one of them. I will not answer the phone "Corporate Accounts Receivable, Nina speaking. Just a moment." day in and day out for my entire stretch of existence. I want to be responsible for my own actions and decisions, and not have to get reminded about TPS reports more than once.

I just need a push. Not a motivational push - I'm plenty motivated. I need a boost. I need to win the lottery, or marry a sugar daddy, or get laid off with pay. I need a chance to get out there and do my thing - not cooped up in an industrial - area office building from 9-5. I need to make connections and network.

Think I'll burn the building down.