Jewish shoes

I bought awesome shoes. They were only $5, but I would not have bought them if they weren't awesome.

They let me indulge in my secret fantasy that was so secret, even I didn't know I had it. It is to be an old Jewish woman. I always see them with their dark hair and their kerchiefs and their long skirts and their sensible shoes. Now, at last, I can join them.

The shoes are light brown, round closed-toe with a heel. There are 4 straps going across the top and the uppermost straps have buckles on them. They are a perfect blend of mary janes and witch shoes. And now I own them.

It was my fate to own these shoes, just as it is my fate to slowly turn into an old Jewish woman. These shoes were sitting in the store, new, with a big sign that said "last chance." I am the only one that made the trek to the back of the store to find these shoes, and I am the only one that wanted them. I might add that there was a Jewish lady in the store at the same time as me, but she did not fork over the five dollars. There wasn't even any tax for some reason. Just five dollars. I can't believe it.

So now I have these shoes. I may wear them tomorrow.

Neat.