Tuesday, May 30, 2006

confession

Alright. I admit it.

I'm afraid of squirrels.

I have no problem going to the park, but the squirrels have been after me for years. I think I could beat up a squirrel if I had to, but these NY squirrels are pretty big. Luckily, they are also slow, so I have time to scream when I see one eyeing me.

Recently I was almost made into a squirrel's lunch. I was reading in the park, minding my own business, when a fat gray squirrel came running at me. I lifted my feet onto the bench, trying to be nonchalant, but my movement must have been too sudden because it attracted the attention of the people on the next bench.

The squirrel was very close to me, but knew he couldn't attack me while other people were watching. So after a brief hesitation, he continued charging at me. Instead of jumping at my face like he had originally planned, he charged right under my bench, continuing on to the grass behind me. I didn't have to watch my back because I left the park soon after. (Smartly, I think.)

This isn't a problem that started when I moved to NY; the first time I noticed it was in Fresno on my 14th bday. I told people about it, but they thought I was a little too paranoid. Luckily, this topic doesn't come up on conversation often, and I've gotten good at squirrel-dodging while in the park with other people. The squirrels are less agressive when I'm in a group, because they know they could never take out all of us at once.

As far as I know, I'm the only person with this problem. I've researched the issue, but another case has never been documented. I'm not sure if that means that I'm the first, or worse - the squirrels may have left no one alive.

I am NOT going to let these squirrels win! I will continue going to the park to show these squirrels that they can't keep bullying me. I AM NOT AFRAID OF THEM!!!!

6 comments:

gandhi rules said...

You're hilarious. Hey isn't it weird that within two days we both wrote about squirrels?
They're coming at you to get by you or because they want you to feed them. They will not eat you, they too are vegetarians. I will help you overcome your fear if you come to the park sometime. <---I have a feeling this will guarantee no visit to Fort Tryon from you...lol.

gandhi rules said...

You're hilarious. Hey isn't it weird that within two days we both wrote about squirrels?
They're coming at you to get by you or because they want you to feed them. They will not eat you, they too are vegetarians. I will help you overcome your fear if you come to the park sometime. <---I have a feeling this will guarantee no visit to Fort Tryon from you...lol.

gandhi rules said...

sorry, I hit the button twice.

Suebob said...

Goldie has a long-standing enmity with squirrels. The one at Mr. S's house would taunt her, really - he would stand on the fence, chatter, wait for her to come out of the house,leap on the deck, then race up the tree just ahead of her snapping jaws...all fun and games.

And I had a great photo of Mr.S. getting bit by a squirrel at my college grad last year - he was trying to feed it a cookie and it latched onto his finger instead. I wish I could find it.

super des said...

see? I'm not the only one!
I just needed to be the 1st to admit it!

super des said...

THIS WAS GIVEN TO ME BY MY FRIEND TRISTEN:

Des, I have a friend that sits next to me at work and she HATES squirrels just as much as you do. So much that her son ( he is only 1 year old ) hates them too. She has nightmares about them jumping on her head and her son will scream and cry when he sees one also. ( he also does this with rabbits, dogs and cows). SO you are not alone. Lincoln is one of the biggest squirrel capitals I believe. I have a lot of squirrels in my back yard! :)

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let me clarify...

I don't hate them.

I just don't like it when they run after me with that hungry look in their eyes. No nightmares are involved.

That family needs help.


des

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