Monday, May 01, 2006

always a des, never a monkey

I've been a bridesmaid only once, and there are very few other instances where I can forsee myself being a bridesmaid again. I think my sister and I even have an unspoken agreement that we don't need to be in each other's weddings. We both have best friends for that. Of course, if there is no "unspoken agreement" like this, then I just look like a big jerk.

Anyway, I am basing my opinions on bridesmaiding soley on my one experience. Here's what I think about being a bridesmaid:

1) You get to wear a pretty dress. And this is if your friend is nice. If she is secretly evil, you might end up in lavender and melon taffeta. You have to be a really good friend to go through with something like that.

However, you also have to pay for said pretty dress, and you will wear it perhaps a few times at most. As you read this, my pretty dress is (I assume) hanging in a closet at my in-laws' house. Sometimes I wish it was here, just so I could wear it around town. However, without Megan here to do it with me, I'm just the crazy guy in the supermarket. And to be the crazy guy in the Ghetto Superstore - man, that's low.

2) You get to see all the behind-the-scenes stresses of a wedding. People running about every which way, like giant chickens with their giant heads cut off. The best part about this is that you do not have to deal with the stresses yourself. Say for instance, that somebody has forgotten the music for the wedding rehearsal. You, as a bridesmaid, do not have to make frantic phone calls to find a radio. If you want, you can get up and leave, radio or no radio. Your friend the bride might not even notice for a while.

3) With your important position standing in line during the ceremony, you get the first view of - the bride, yes, but that's not where I'm going - the groom. Any groom's face should light up as his future wife walks towards him in her beautiful dress. Ever since I discovered this secret, I always make sure to see the groom's face when the bride walks in. This is always more difficult for the audience than for the bridesmaids.

Luckily when I was a bridesmaid, I had a friend to share the bridesmaiding experience with. My favorite moment, and I think Megan can attest to this, was in David's Bridal. We were dismayed at dresses that didn't fit us or look good on us. We walked out to where Krista was trying on her dress, passing many other future brides trying on their dresses, and sadly, they were each doing things that brides should not do. They were unhappy, frumpy, cranky, and ugly. But as we turned the corner, we saw our friend in a ray of light, beaming and looking more regal than any queen I had ever seen. We knew that was the dress for her, and she had no competition for the title of Most Beautiful Bride. I think that's a moment only for a bridesmaid.

Overall, I'm for being a bridesmaid, but only to your closest friends. If is's your boyfriend's sister that you hardly know, take a pass. You don't want to end up in pea-green chiffon.

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