reconsideration time, once again

I've decided to become a communist. Apparently I was a capitalist before, what with the belief that hard work would get me ahead. Not the case. So I need to find some boring office job that pays well and doesn't really require brainpower. I promise to show up, do a bit of work, and get a piece of the pie. I've had jobs like this before, and it worked out pretty well - but I generally end up leaving because I have to depend on other people to finish their work so I can do my own. If I'm going to do management's work but not get paid management's salary, I won't be around long. It's like this too many places I work.

Today (while I was doing someone else's job instead of my own of course), a thought occurred: I want to be the one buying this stuff instead of the one putting it on the shelves. I was fancying a hair clip, which in reality was less than $6, but even with all my hard work, I simply can't justify spending money on it. Even though the job I have now is good work and I like all my coworkers, I still have to deal with nutcase customers and retail hours. Plus, you know, the pay is pretty awful. It's not like I'm a Rockefeller over here or anything, not spending $6 on a pretty hair clip or other things I want but don't need.

But my problem is that I have no marketable skills. Yes, I can be trained to do anything (and do it well!) but who wants to hire someone that needs training? And even if they do hire me, are they going to give me full pay even during the training period? I have no financial buffer for a transition like that. Even to get the career back that I had for 6 years would require recertification (and a bit of retraining since it's been a while). My resume has lots of experience, but nothing solid. I am a master of many things, and expert at none.

I'm not trying to turn this into a "woe is me" blog, just trying to get my head straight. I think I will start applying for jobs again and hope for a big fat paycheck. Yeah, it's all about the money with me. And the $270 propane that lasted us less than a month and is necessary for heating our home has nothing to do with it, I swear.