Thursday, January 31, 2008

question

What do you do when you're unpacking and you keep coming across mementos from the previous 10 years of your life that are from when you moved out and were told to take "every little thing" because he didn't want any memories, so as you try to start your new life you keep breaking down in tears because even though you are better off now, you did have a lot of good times and now you are stuck with pictures and gifts that have no use other than sentimentality but you don't want to destroy them or trash them due to the fact that you are not a completely cold hearted bitch but sometimes you wish you were because being angry is easier than being sad?

I ask because a friend of mine....

14 comments:

Laura said...

well, tell your friend that this stuff sucks for a while.... and even when you think you are fine and you know you are so much better off... there will be something funny on TV or the radio, or a picture comes flying out of a drawer that makes you stop and think, and you remember how special you felt at that time.

I just know this because I have a friend too.. one that has been married for 6 years and has 2 kids... and she still has some open wounds that might not ever heal.
Save a couple things, get rid of the rest. It will always be a part of you...

super des said...

Thanks Laura, I will pass that along. Especially when random pictures fall out of boxes, much like when they fly out of drawers.

Average Jane said...

I still run across things like that in boxes and files. The sting has long since faded (after all, I've been with my hubby for 15 whole years now!) and it really doesn't make sense to keep the stuff anymore, but I always end up putting it back where I found it.

super des said...

I think they are important to keep, but maybe keep them all together in a box somewhere.

Arlene said...

The first 7 years I kept "those things" boxed up and in a rented U-Haul storage room. By year 12 many of "those things" were not so important anymore and found their way to other places. All I have left now is a few pieces of jewelery and the wedding rings which are kept locked away at my fathers home.

Time has a way of dealing with "things."

flutter said...

put them in a box, and put them in your closet, When the time comes you will know whether to keep them or toss them

((you))

have you been to my new house yet?

SUEB0B said...

It has been a slow process of stripping stuff away. The more I get rid of, the better I feel. Good luck.

Count Mockula said...

Everyone has said what I was going to say. Keep stuff, though -- especially pictures with you in them. One day you'll be glad to have them.

ExpectingExecutive said...

Let your friend know that I boxed my up and sent them to a family member to stick in their closet and if I asked for them within 2 years, they would send them back and if not...they truly became memories. Tell you friend...they are in good company.

Anonymous said...

Pack them up and store them someplace safe (as in, not in an outdoor storage shed or something where they could get water damage and mildew). After some time has passed, you'll be glad you kept them. Just because "he" is in your photos or connected to your other mementos doesn't mean that they weren't part of YOUR life. Those experiences you had together are part of what makes you YOU. If you eventually speak to C again someday and become friends, he may even ask for a few things back. Once he works through the breakup, he will be sorry he made you take all of the memories with you.

Suzanne said...

The grieving process is important when a relationship ends. It sucks, but its important, and at the end of the day, I think it helps you move on better. :)

viciousrumours said...

I spent seven years married to someone and it ended badly. Even though he was a jerk and cheated on me and....well you get the picture, I would still find myself feeling sad about it.

I've come to the general conclusion that being a human being is a pain in the ass sometimes.

Anonymous said...

I NEVER throw away pictures...you'll want to keep those memories no matter how painful it might be at times right now...as for trinkets and such...the midwest is a GREAT place for a yard/garage sale when the weather is nice! Make a few buck from it and go out and celebrate your new life with your new and wonderful man!!!!

mar said...

yep, what they said. i finally got rid of the 'stuff' but i still have the pictures, hidden away, though they may be.

# #