Friday, November 30, 2007

two things: blood and xmas

1. So did you know that berries have a chemical in them very similar to aspirin? Aspirin makes your blood thin, which means you will bleed more if you are cut, or say, get a huge tattoo on your shoulder. Did you also know that I love berries and may or may not have had a berry smoothie from Jamba Juice immediately preceding and (a little bit during) such a tattoo?

So while the constant influx of sugar stopped me from passing out, and the straw in my mouth gave me something to fixate on, I was really damning myself to a day full of blood loss. Next time? (And yes, there is a next time ) I guess I have to skip the smoothie. Oranges have the chemical too, so I can't go to my second fave as a last resort even.

2. We started playing xmas music in the store today. The big boss man was "giving us a break" by delaying it from the day after Tgiving, but not much of a break since we still have to actually hear it. All day. Every day. Until xmas.

The first thing we heard was a promo cd featuring all these tv stars singing. OK, some, like Bebe Neuwirth, can carry a damn fine tune. However, others, like Sean Hayes, cannot. And I mean Can. Not. Yeah, that cd didn't last long before my other coworker and I tried to impale ourselves on expensive luggage to end it all.

Then I used the magic of XM radio to find us a suitable station. The good thing about them is that they try not to repeat things too often. Sadly, though many people have recorded xmas music, there is only a very small selection of songs from which to choose. I hate that song Santa Baby, btw. I liked it at first. Sure, the baby doll woman singing is extremely materialistic and shallow, but that's what xmas is all about right? But after about the 5th time hearing it by varied artists, it became the worst song ever. Worst. Ever. Even my love Madonna did a version that was so bad I wanted to stick my fingers up my nose to jab my brain so I wouldn't have to hear it anymore.

Also? I hate Mannheim Steamroller. Who was the ad wizard that came up with that one? "Hey you know what would be the best thing ever? Xmas music pretending to rock, but comprised of tens of thousands of synthesizers!" No, Chip Davis. No. That is not the best thing ever. In fact, it is one of the least awesome things ever conceived, regardless of what millions of record sales say.

So yeah.

ps - there are no pictures yet because my pretty leaves are still marred by redness and ugly ugly bruising. Gimme like 1 or 2 days ok, all you impatient little monkeys?

pps - I have, and will continue to have, Santa Baby in my head for the next 2 months. Suck.

ppps - I do like that video of the house lights synched to MS's Carol of the Bells that I'm sure you've seen and I am too lazy to look it up anyway. But that's not because of MS. Carol of the Bells is my fave xmas song.


flutter said...

so this one time? when I worked for Disney? I had to listen not only to christmas music, but DISNEY CHRISTMAS MUSIC. Good god.

super des said...

I'm sorry flutter.
It's all over now.

Erika, Plain Jane Mom said...

Special place in hell for manheim steamroller. Those fuckers are evil.

Best Xmas album ever: "Jazz to the World" (Hear Music compilation)

Best Xmas song: Baby it's Cold Outside from that album. Sexy as hell!

Now you know ;)

super des said...

I do love baby it's cold outside. That's the one Bebe sang. Howeer, John Lithgow did the duet with her, and...ew.

Average Jane said...

Re: #1 - No kidding? I wonder if that's why phlebotomists are always accusing me of taking aspirin when I really haven't.

As for "Santa Baby" - ugh, I hate that song, too. I can't stand to listen to it. I share your opinion of Mannheim Steamroller and would like to add Trans-Siberian Orchestra to the list. I used to like them but they just rub me the wrong way now.

SUEB0B said...

I should dig out the Christmas mix tapes and CDs my friend Kyle made for me. The Dickies doing "Silent Night," James Brown doing "Santa Claus go straight to the ghetto," classics like that. You might enjoy.

Mannheim Steamroller is an abomination.

Count Mockula said...

I once worked in a record store at Christmas. Someone put on "Jingle Cats." I thought that was a good joke, and lauhged. No, they actually intended to play the whole goddamn thing. Repeatedly. All through the season.

Suzanne said...

The Xmas music is partly why my retail career was limited to summer vacations. Poor Des.

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