We regret to inform you...

Friday night after the gym and dinner out, we went home. On the way we got the mail. Junk mail, junk mail, letter from CUNY. A small envelope. And yes I did open it to make sure it was what I thought it was. I read the first 5 words and threw it on the ground as the tears welled up. There was much crying and hugging with Craig until I curled up on the couch and went to sleep.

The next morning I was not crying anymore. I felt better, but my brain would always wander back to the phrase "What am I going to do with my life?" Lucky for me, it was a day of good friends as I exchanged angry / consolate / advisory emails with several people and then went out to spend the day with Suzanne and her cousin.

The original plan was to go to the Brooklyn Museum of Art and see a display on feminism, but by the time we all had our iced Starbucks drinks, we felt more like wandering around Manhattan instead of a museum. We wandered through the farmer's market in Union Square where I bought a basil plant (as I have been waiting all winter for a new one!) and some yummy apple-cranberry vegan treats. We went to Barnes & Noble where I was very good at not buying many things, though I did buy a magazine and a book about flowers so I can plan my next tattoo, and a giant encyclopedia of secret societies that was in the bargain bin and was really heavy when I had to carry it around all day. But I also carried the basil, so I at least could smell it while I was complaining about being tired.

We wandered more until we reached Madison Square, where we had just missed the Sikh Parade. So we wandered more until we found vendors giving out free popcorn in support of the TriBeCa film festival.* We sat on some cement stairs and ate our popcorn and decided where to go next. "Next" happened to be various clothing stores, including Macy's, H&M, and Old Navy before we did more sitting. Then we had dinner at a mac & cheese restaurant (can you believe it!) and it was tasty and good. Eventually we parted ways at Grand Central. I came home and finished the necklace I had begun, and didn't think about life choices.

But that's a lie. I did think about life choices. Suzanne had given me some good ideas, and my options are a lot more open now because Craig will be a corporate law-talking guy for the summer, so he will make almost my whole year's income in 10 weeks. That means des can definitely quit the job that she hates (which she was still going to do anyway) and get a part-time job or an internship doing something fun. Maybe I can concentrate on writing that book that we are all writing. As Count Mockula pointed out, beading will never support me, but it's still fun.

I just want a job in which I can set my own hours, not leave the house if I don't want to, not be stuck in an office dealing with idiots, and be doing something I like. Is that so wrong?




*Incidentally, I was supposed to go see a screening of a film at midnight as part of the festival but I couldn't get tickets, so I went home.