Oscar recap - very important

Did you watch the Oscars?
No, I don’t watch tv.
I know that, but I thought you might because it was a special occasion.

I am so sick of repeating this conversation. It’s like someone inviting me to a barbeque, knowing I’m a vegetarian, and expecting me to have a hamburger “because it’s a special occasion.” Seriously, I don’t watch tv.

But I did keep abreast of the winners as they were announced because Craig and I were up til 2am playing Nintendo. Luckily there are people out there that do live-blogging commentary on things like this. I would do it too, if someone paid me. So here are my mandatory Oscar reactions.

I only saw one of the movies nominated for anything, The Departed. (Ok, 2 if you count Pirates, but it wasn’t up for any “big” awards.) Turns out I saw the right one, what with Best Picture and Best Director and whatnot. I did try to see Pan’s Labyrinth on several occasions, but it just wasn’t in the cards. Either it wasn’t playing at the theater we were at, or it was playing at a time where I’d either have to kill 3 hours in freezing temperatures or miss dinner reservations. So I only saw the one movie. Keep that in mind.

Supporting Actress – Jennifer Hudson
Good for her. I like when people win Oscars for their first movie. However, this seems to be an encouragement for American Idol. I would have also liked it if the little girl from “Little Miss Sunshine” had won, because I like when 10-year old kids do thing I never did when I was 10, like win Oscars. Plus, she had the best dress there.

Best Actress - Helen Mirren
Another one of those great British actors I've never heard of that comes out of nowhere (to me, anyway) and wins all the awards. Of course she won.

Supporting Actor - Alan Arkin
I've no beef with him. I'm just glad that Marky Mark or Eddie Murphy didn't win. No offense to those guys, but former rappers and SNL cast members are not allowed to get Oscars. The rules of the universe have decreed it so.

Best Actor - Forrest Whitaker
See above, but replace Marky Mark with Will Smith.

Best Song - Melissa Etheridge
I think it's awesome that Melissa won an Oscar. Plus, I think it's hilarious that "Dreamgirls," a song about music that had 3 nominations in this category, did not win. Meanwhile, "An Inconvenient Truth," a documentary not about music, did win.

Best Documentary - An Inconvenient Truth
I liked Al Gore for his appearances on Futurama. Plus I like saying "Oscar Winning Former Vice President Al Gore." That's one hell of a title.

Best Director - Martin Scorsese
Good for him. It sucks to keep making movies that are so good that everyone loves them and they win all sorts of awards, but not win one yourself. Marty (I, like everyone, am familiar enough with Mr. Scorsese to call him this) has always been good enough to get nominated but not quite good enough to cross that bridge to winning. It's good that at some point the Academy finally let him have his damn statue. It was a good movie though.

Ok, so those are the categories that mattered to me. I spent the rest of the night criticizing the photos of the fancy dresses and wondering why some of these people pay stylists to make them look ugly and trampled. But now I don't want to ever hear about the Oscars again. I'm done talking about it.