mock-liments

Here are two things that were said to me yesterday.

1. I was wearing a very awesome headband that is white with black polka-dots and a cute little bow. (You know it’s awesome because Suzanne has the same, but in red.) A coworker said “Oh! You look like a little girl!”

She didn’t add that it was cute, or any other sort of phrase that would clearly mark this as a compliment. If it hadn’t been for her body language and genial smile, I would have sworn it was a condescending and derisive statement. However, I think that she was trying to form a “bond” between us. Since we’re both women, she figured that we must constantly be striving to appear younger than we really are. Besides the fact that I don’t care about my age (I can already do everything nice & legal!) or what people think of it, I’m at least half the age of everyone else in the office. So while she would be flattered if someone thought she was 25 (which nobody would), I am not flattered that someone thinks I look like I am 8. This is not a compliment to me.

2. A different coworker and I were discussing my jewelry because she wanted to buy some. Another coworker marched up and said “Oh, I forgot we have a budding designer in our midst!”

First off, nobody was talking to you. You walked into someone else’s conversation to interject an insult for no reason. Secondly, I’m not a “budding” designer. Just because you only recently discovered it, doesn’t mean I haven’t been doing this a long time. And you know what, I’m making money from it. I don’t see you with any marketable skills. And even if you do have some, I don’t insert jerky comments into your conversations.

Unlike the first “compliment,” this one was said with a condescending tone, with no attempt at friendliness. I think that this guy was just jealous because he always talks to this other coworker while waiting for the elevator, but today she wanted to talk to me. You can have her every other day – today she’s showing interest in something I do. Don’t be such a selfish moon baboon.