Obituary of the late Mr Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He
will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the
worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in
charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 -year- old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children. It declined even further when schools were required to get
parental consent to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a
student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and
wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a
burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was
preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion;
his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is
To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If
you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do
nothing.
**** I wish I had written this. So sad, but so true ****
Posts
The Future of Orion
3 days ago
8 comments:
Luvit! Amen...
Maybe he's not really dead. Maybe he's just hiding. Like Elvis or Jim Morrison..
There have been no confirmed sightings.
OK, that McD's case always drives me crazy because while I agree that the woman should not have been drinking hot coffee while she was driving, no reasonable person would expect that spilled coffee would cause burns that require extensive skin grafts. Yes, that is how hot the coffee was. And McD's knew that it was too hot because other customers had complained repeatedly about severe burns they received when they spilled coffee. However, McD's chose to keep the coffee scalding hot because it was cheaper to make one batch of coffee in the morning and keep it that hot than it was to keep the coffee cooler and need to worry about whether they had hot coffee to serve. Burns that require skin grafts are pretty damn severe.
I learned about this in a Constitutional Law class while I was an undergrad.
You law-talkin' people are all alike.
Common sense isn't dead... it just isn't so common anymore. It has been supressed by people who want the public to be stupid and placid.
Oh... and since when are the Ten Commandments contraband? Oh. You mean schools and courts...? Well, do they REALLY need to be there? I think religious education is best left to parents and the church.
You're right... it's not dead. There are still people like you and me that are astonished when people so stupid things.
Well random guy,
1. I said I didn't write it. I just thought it was clever.
2. Obviously if you do a little research you will find out more than this thing tells you. I didn't feel like ruiing the tone of it by correcting it.
3. Suzanne already talked about the McDs case, so you don't need to point out the flaws.
4. It does mention more general things that are the ones that actually make it funny.
5.Yes, it is a forwarded email. If you don't like it, read one of the 513 other posts I have done thus far, or any one of a number of my friends' posts.
Post a Comment