whole lotta monkey

I’ve invented a new term, and I think you should all learn it and start using it. You already know that “monkey” is an all-encompassing term, especially for those of us that tend to rattle on without properly cussing. For example, you could say “what a monkey!” in a variety of situations. If you’re really mad, you can say “you monkey sucker!” which actually sounds very insulting.

“The whole monkey monkey” is similar. It’s kind of like “the whole wide world” but bigger. This phrase includes everything. Everything.

Everything that exists now, has existed in the past, or will exist in the future.

Everything that might exist, but probably won’t.

Everything that never could exist even in your wildest dreams.

Everything that a nonexistent person in a theoretical parallel universe could even have the possibility of maybe thinking of.

Everything, in the most complete and literal sense of the world.

For example, you might say that you’re “the happiest monkey in the whole monkey monkey.” This means you’re really really happy, and nobody’d better try to one-up your happiness level, because it’s just not possible. Or maybe that is the biggest pizza in the whole monkey monkey. That’s one hell of a big pizza. It would take years to eat.

I’m always glad to elaborate, but I think you get the idear. (I have to add Rs at the end of words where they don’t normally belong, because that’s what people do in NY, and I think it’s funny. Funnier than the funniest monkey in the whole monkey monkey, in fact.)