Where there's no smoke, there's no fire.

Lucky for me, whenever I don't have anything to write about, something interesting happens.

Let me set the scene:
You're working at your desk as normal. It's about 11am on a Wednesday, a normal day. You use your super smell-power to detect the presence of smoke. You realize you had been hearing sirens as well, but ignored them because they are so commonplace. On turning around to look out the window, you see a bit of billowy white smoke. Looking out the window you see 4 fire trucks and an ambulance, with more smoke, on the street directly below you.

"Hey, uh, there are several fire trucks and a lot of smoke here."

You're not quite sure if it's your building or the building right next to you that is garnering all the attention from the throngs of onlookers outside.

A bit louder:
"There are several fire trucks and a lot of smoke here."

Someone else finally says they smell smoke too. Meanwhile, your "cube" seems to be directly above the source of the rapidly increasing smoke. Not to mention the smoke coming in through the vents and window cracks right next to you.

You are having trouble breathing. Finally other people are making a fuss, namely coworker P.

"Why are we still in this building with all this smoke?"

A few people have stopped working and are wandering around the office looking for answers. You have vacated your desk because you prefer breathing to working, if you have a choice. Your boss is heard to say that it's no big deal. Coworker P goes and alerts the company president, who then comes out of his office (on the other side from where the smoke is - i.e. your desk) wondering what all the hubbub is about. At the same time, the shop foremen have entered with instructions from the firemen outside that you are to evacuate the building.

You and coworker P don't need to be told twice. You brave your desk to grab your backpack (and your pictures on the wall, just for good measure) and head out. Nobody is leaving the office except you and coworker P. You hear President:

"They're evacuating the building. I don't know why."

But you don't stop to argue. The firemen are your bosses now, and they said to evacuate. You were on the verge of evacuating anyway because of that aforementioned penchant for breathing. The smoke in the hall is much worse, and you know enough not to take the elevator. On the stairs you and coworker P meet all the guys from the shop, whose bosses had said to evacuate. You can't help but notice that none of the other office workers are there because their bosses had said not to evacuate. But you don't care. You want out of the smoke infested building.

Outside you mull around for a while amongst the crowd of evacuees. Coworker P shares the remarks she overheard by the Bosses to the effect of "it's no big deal, just keep working." You say Fuck That. You can't really keep working if you can't breathe, now can you?

After a little while people start streaming back into the building. The elevators are down so everyone crowds to the stairwell. You start to ask if someone left the door to the stairs open, otherwise you won't be able to get back to the 5th floor, but then you are overwhelmed once again by smoke. Others keep trudging upstairs, but you turn around and march right back down. You see coworker P, who had gone off to recover from her asthma attack and to get some water at the store. You tell her it's still too smoky and that you are waiting outside.

So you wait. You see the fire chief and ask if it's safe to go back in. He says to wait about 20 minutes before all the smoke clears. The fireman is your boss. So you wait.

Coworker P begins to get ancy, fretting that you will get in trouble for not going back to work. Again, you say Fuck That. Let them fire you for not returning to the still-smoky building. But eventually you brave the smoke (though there is less of it now) and go back into the office. There is only one stupid comment from a non-evacuee, and you let them know that you can't breathe when the world is full of smoke.

You go back to your desk, and even though your fan is on full blast, it is still smoky. You can barely see your computer screen, and you sure have a heck of a time doing anything. Your boss asks if you are ok, and you tell him that you've been better, aside from the headache and sore throat and lack of concentration. You hear coworker P complain about her asthma and ask for a break. Boss tells her to go home. She's gone. Boss tells you that you can go home too, if you need to. You might, but you'll stick it out for a bit.

You still can't do anything right. You're disoriented. You put your head on your desk. Boss comes over and sees you and asks if you're ok. Suddenly you burst into tears. You can't do anything about it, and you sound like a blubbering idiot when you try to explain anything. Boss tells you to go home. On the way out, you pass 3 different people that ask if you're ok. Well, you're sobbing (though not in hysterics), you have a headache, sore throat, and still trouble breathing. Do you look ok? You simply reply that you're sick.

Boss doesn't seem to believe you can get home by yourself, but you've gone home in much worse states than this. Riding the rails is not a problem. The problem continues to be the smoke. But you sound like a blubbering idot still, so you have to promise you'll let Boss know that you've arrived home safely.

Still in tears, you make it downstairs (elevators are still down) and call your boyfriend, who is just waking up in CA. You sound like a blubbering idiot to him too, but he knows you better, and knows that you only get this way when you are really sick.

When you get home, you email your boss. You still don't feel great. You think maybe you should look up "smoke inhalation" to see how you can feel better. You are still mad at your employers for not thinking that a fire in the building is a big deal. You're a little glad you had to be sent home, to show that you won't put up with that kind of crap. You know everyone will think you overreacted, but you stick to your new mantra: Fuck Them.

But on the plus side, you do get an extra day of vacation.




p.s. Here is what I learned (for you) from emedicinehealth.com.

Numerous signs and symptoms of smoke inhalation may develop. Symptoms may include cough, shortness of breath, hoarseness, headache, and acute mental status changes.

Do you have 4 out of these 5 symptoms?