party pooper

I’m a bad American. I didn’t vote. Blame rests with known government organization, the Post Office. Even though I gave them plenty of time to get my absentee ballot from CA to NY, it did not arrive until Monday, the day before the election. It may have arrived while I was in CA (though not the part my vote was needed in), but that still would have been cutting it close. The Boyfriend’s ballot arrived the day of, and that’s because Humboldt county is simply more on top of things than Fresno county.

I did go to an election party though. It’s similar to a superbowl party, though with less amusing commercials. We ordered food from Wild Ginger and the smell of it lured several others at the house to make the delivery guy come back out at least twice more, even though it was vegan food and everyone else is a meat-eater. Clearly this election party was made up of open-minded liberals.

I have to admit that this election party made me the most bored I’d been in a while. Just as the superbowl is boring for a non-sports fan, or an Oscar party is less exciting for one who has seen none of the movies (and yes, I’ve been that guy at both those parties as well), hours of flipping between MSNBC, Fox News, and CNN (with picture-in-picture) was a little mind-numbing for one who didn’t vote, and even if she had, her state was not one of the “important” ones. Importance was decided by whether or not the state or district was written on the color-coded dry erase board, in order of poll closing time. CA was not on the board.

Speaking of CA, why do you people keep voting for the guy that starred in “Last Action Hero?” This is why the other states make fun of us. And I point out that it is definitely you people and not we because I did not vote for the Governator, even though there was much pressure from the children at the elementary school I voted at in the last election. Also, I like saying “governator” even though it’s cliché. Anyway, I’m seceding from CA. Next time, I’ll register in good old NY. Maybe I’ll even get a NY driver’s license someday, but one step at a time.

The highlight of the evening was when we went on a beer run. It was that kind of party. Mostly I just wanted to run away and get ice cream, so I was willing to take money and orders from everyone. With my Dublin Mudslide ice cream, I enjoyed the remaining political coverage. I was even able to make jokes like “Take that, Catherine Harris!” because I wanted to fit in and be liked. My little plan worked. I’m assured that I will be invited to the next election party. However, they are not assured that I will go.